This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. There are just so many women I love.
1. Laura Petracca (of Hunter Valentine). I made Laura my number one because she likes to come first. She also likes to be on top. This can go on forever — and so can I.
3. Lucy Liu
5. Kayden Kross
10. Hayley Williams
8. Nicole Piña (The Lovers and Friends Show) Sweet Jesus.
7. Monica Cruz Penelope Cruz‘s lesser-known-but-worth-getting-to-know younger sister. Mmm.
6. Pink Duh.
5. Angelina Jolie in Salt. After years of estrangement, she won me back in that film. Something about strangling someone backwards with the chain of her handcuffs while dangling off a balcony. Gets me every time.
4. Morgan Hildebrand (of the video blog, Morgan Hildebrand is…SO GAY). What can I say, with Morgan and I, it’s just — there.
3. Amy Smart. Such a huge crush on her for so long. Awesome girlfriend material, no question.
2. The Photoshopped poster that they sell on the Venice Boardwalk of Marilyn Monroe‘s face, mouth covered by a bandana, flawlessly placed atop the body of what could easily be a Suicide Girl, braless, and donning an amazingly tiny cut-off wife beater. I’m actually serious about this. Dirty thoughts every time I pass it. It’s a problem.
1. The curvy, dark-haired goddess of an exotic dancer at Scores in New Orleans who gave me the first (and only) lap dance of my life. I felt like an adolescent boy in the midst of a sudden and glorious sexual awakening. She was a game changer for me. (And, incidentally, the reason I then thought the uber-femme Marilyn poster was so hot when I saw it for the first time a few weeks later.) Took a while to come to terms with, but thanks to said goddess, I think I’ve finally discovered a deep-seated attraction to femmes.