Movies

Review of “The Kids Are All Right”

What makes a good gay movie? Is it a movie that makes gays look good? Or is it a movie that makes gays look real?

I would argue, with my last breath, that what makes a gay movie good is not the deification of its gay character. It’s not even the happily ever after. It’s the truth it tells. Of course, telling the truth isn’t easy – it’s often messy. People get hurt, because that’s what the truth does.

The Kids Are All Right is all those things: difficult, messy, painful. It’s also funny, loving and – most important – true. Director Lisa Cholodenko (High Art, Laurel Canyon ) has made unquestionably the best movie about a marriage you’ll see all year, if not for many, many more to come. At its heart is a family. That they’re a gay family is almost incidental, almost. Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) have been together some 20 years and have two kids: Joni, named after Joni Mitchell (Alice in Wonderland‘s Mia Wasikowska) and Laser – yes, Laser – (Josh Hutcherson).

They live a happy upper middle-class existence with a nice house and Volvo SUV. Nic is an OBGYN. Jules has flitted from professions – architecture, Balinese furniture and now landscape design. Their kids seem, well, all right. Joni just turned 18 and is taking her straight-As to college when summer is over. Laser is 15 and has a best friend who likes to knock over trash cans.

Laser, perhaps a longing for a better grade of testosterone in his life, begs Joni to contact the cryobank to find their biological father. Their “momses,” as they call Nic and Jules, each used the same anonymous sperm donor to have them years ago. So into their seemingly tranquil, utterly mundane lives rides Paul.

Paul (Mark Ruffalo) is cool. He wears lots of leather necklaces and rides a motorcycle. He says “Right on” and means it. An organic farmer and restaurant owner, Paul is that almost infuriating kind of sexy that requires no effort, just supreme self-confidence and a smile. Joni likes him instantly; Laser isn’t so sure. I suspect that reflects the initial effect Paul has on women and men, almost universally.

The kids intend to keep their meeting with Paul a secret, but Nic and Jules find out. They insist on meeting him. And thus the carefully built universe that has been their lives spins dangerously off its axis. You see, all families – no matter how close – are vulnerable. The cracks that exist in a marriage can become chasms overnight. Nic and Jules’ marriage isn’t perfect. Nic works too much and loves her red wine even more. Jules feels unfocused and unfocused on.

Cholodenko’s script (co-written with Stuart Blumberg) makes Nic and Jules familiar enough to feel real, yet individual enough to feel new. You may know a couple like them, but not exactly like them. Their quirks are their own. They’re the couple who call each other “Pony” and “Chicken” when no one is looking. And they pop in a little ’70s gay male porn when they’re sure no one is looking.

When their porn predilections are discovered unwittingly by Laser, Jules explains: “Sometimes desire can be counterintuitive.” [SPOILER ALERT: Key plot points are about to be discussed. Most have already been revealed in the trailer, but if you’re really worried, skip to the last two paragraphs.]

Which is where all the trouble begins. Because much as Joni and then Laser are charmed by Paul, Jules is too, if not more. After an awkward, halting first family meeting, Paul hires Jules to landscape his new backyard. He is her first client, so she jumps in with brand-new gardening togs and nervous eagerness.

Everything she does in the garden for Paul is great. Meanwhile, at home she can’t keep Nic’s attention long enough to finish a bath. So Jules starts sleeping with Paul.

This is, naturally, the place where some queer women will balk. God, not again. Not another lesbian cheating on her partner with a man. No, no, no. But you see, it’s not like that. It’s not about wanting a man, being unsatisfied with women or not being gay in the first place. It’s about what makes people cheat in a relationship. It’s there. It’s new. It feels good. It patches what seems to be broken. It hurts those who are hurting us. It’s not pretty, but it’s real. This doesn’t excuse the action, but gay, straight, what have you – people cheat.

In lesser hands, you’d hate them for it. As tenderly, often hilariously, tended by Bening and Moore, you just feel for them. These two veteran actresses have found the perfect pitch together. They feel lived in, but without using any of the generic shorthand other movies use to make them so. Their conversations are filled with all the sharpness and silences that creep in when you know someone, inside and out. Bening, in particular, is brilliant – her face a delicate latticework of emotion. Nic doesn’t miss a beat, but can be obtuse when it counts most. Moore layers yearning and a well-meaning striving into Jules. You sense that she has never felt quite worthy of her doctor wife. Wasikowska, who entered a wonderland earlier this summer for Tim Burton, brings the confusion and unexpected perception that comes with being almost an adult.

Much has been made about how The Kids Are All Right could be the lesbian Brokeback Mountain. The beauty of Ang Lee‘s heartbreaking masterpiece was that it made Midwestern housewives leave the theater saying, “Gosh, I sure wish those gay cowboys could have worked things out.” The genius of The Kids Are All Right is that it makes everyone leave the theater saying, “I sure hope that nice couple can work it out.”

The Kids Are All Right opened Friday in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Chicago. A wider release is set to follow.

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