“Machete” trailer features Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba, but no Lindsay

Big knives, killer abs, hot ladies — and did I mention the really big knives? The first full-length trailer for the new Robert Rodriguez film Machete has arrived. Sure, there was the politically charged Cinco de Mayo version released in May. But this new version has, if you can believe it, even more mayhem for your money. And, because it’s so damn hot, it deserves repeating, there’s this poster of Michelle Rodriguez.

I never thought I’d say this, but I love a lady with an eye patch. The trailer lays out the slashing story pretty simply. Based on the fake trailer in Rodriguez’s Grindhouse, Machete is about a man (played by veteran character actor Danny Trejo) who cuts swath of revenge through those who double-crossed him into almost assassinating a corrupt senator. Did I mention it also stars Jessica Alba — in her underwear, no less? Take a look for yourself.

Now, that looks pretty bad-ass. But it’s also pretty perplexing. Because as the credits and the preview trailer attest, Lindsay Lohan is also in this movie — as a gun-toting nun, no less.

So why would the trailer go out of its way to mention all of its stars except Lindsay? Could it be she has fallen out of favor because of her recent legal wrangling? Could they be embarrassed to be associated with someone being sent to the slammer? I mean, they proudly present Steven Segal, so they can’t be too picky about their standards.

Strange slight aside, the film looks like a rock ‘em, slash ‘em good time. And I commend its fashion-forward use of a bra as gun halter. I wonder if Victoria Secret will start carrying them next season. So what do you think? Like what you see?

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