“Flick’s Chicks” follows a woman on quest to choose between five women

The premise behind director James Tucker’s coming-of-older-age movie, Flick’s Chicks, centers around a single mother of one who has finally come to terms with her sexuality. It is important to note while reading this that I haven’t seen the movie and I am kind of a tough critic. There, I said it; commit it to memory.

Flick (played by Evelyn Gaynor) finds herself attracted to five very different women and for some reason finds the need to settle down with one of them right away. Since she can’t decide which one to choose willy nilly (and since they are all apparently attracted to her as well), she comes up with the worst idea in dating history and has them all over for a surprise slumber party. Yes, you heard that correctly, it’s a surprise — none of the other women know the others will be there.

If you follow the laws of lesbian math and these women all come from the same area, it is highly probable that at least two of these women have dated each other and at least two more have made out at some point in their lives.

Also, as someone who has watched Next and Elimidate religiously, I can be sure of one thing — even if none of these women have dated each other before, by the end of the weekend two of Flick’s original date options will run off together. The question is, which two will it be?

We’ve got the sassy black lady, the hippy dippy white girl with dreads, the soft butch, the more feminine-looking boxer butch and the femme Latina. My money is on the soft butch actually ending up with Flick so that leaves everyone else to trade panties with each other.

Now, before we cheer and send a toaster to a new member of the team, I’m a little leery of the description of our main character:

After a lifetime of problems and disappointments with men, she decides she wants to spend her life with a woman. As sweet and funny as she is, Flick is flawed and confused but has come up with an unconventional way to find her new mate.

So, from this description, it doesn’t sound like she’s gay — it just sounds like the poorest excuse we all hear out of the mouths of our parents/friends/random dudes at bars: She hasn’t met the right guy yet.

Maybe someone just got the description wrong and she really is gay. Even if this is the case, let’s not pack our U-Hauls just yet, OK?

Has anyone seen this and thought it was way cuter than the description made it seem? I know how hard it is to put a low-budget movie together so I don’t want to stomp all over the hopes and dreams of anyone who took part in this, I’ve just spent the last 15 years being disappointed by most of the lesbian-focused movies I’ve ever seen and I’m ready for a change. Somebody please tell me I’m wrong.

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