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Review of “Chloe”

What do you get when you combine Single White Female with Basic Instinct? A whole lot of sexually awkward scenes and more lingerie than you can fit into a Victoria’s Secret bag during its semi-annual sale.

This is what Chloe is on its face: A showcase for Amanda Seyfried to play a beautiful big-eyed, innocent-on-the surface hooker whose attraction to co-star Julianne Moore produces a rare sexual trifecta – or as one critic said exiting the theater after a recent L.A. press screening “a trisexual role.”

Director Atom Egoyan wastes little time in showing us what’s underneath Chloe’s (Seyfried) Sex and the City-esque attire as the film reveals itself for what it truly is: a thriller that gets stuck on its way to the payoff somewhere in Lesbian Stunt Casting Ville.

Moore plays an OBGYN named Catherine Stewart whose damaging insecurity is the driving force of the film. She is attracted to Chloe right from the start, when the pair have a strange yet touching meeting in the ladies’ room while Catherine’s husband David (Liam Neeson) entertains friends with a game of Spot the Hooker. Chloe, meanwhile, senses something in Catherine at the same time, as she tries to pass off a hairpin to express her gratitude to the woman she just met.

Catherine returns to the dinner table to find David making nice with a hot waitress and her insecurities explode. She questions his fidelity in the worst car ride home ever.

Cue Chloe: Catherine, who eyes the girl who can “be your first kiss or a Playboy image you remember from ninth grade” from her office window, enlists her services to test David. She arranges a chance encounter to see if her hubby will take the bait.

The meetings between Chloe and Catherine are when things really get steamy. Chloe reveals every sexual detail of her encounters with David to a shell-shocked Catherine, who can’t help but be turned on by the woman who “tries to find something to love in everybody.” It’s like watching two lesbians have phone sex in front of one another.

As their meetings become more damaging for Catherine and David’s marriage, the family begins to unravel from its perfect public perception. Catherine’s imagination and insecurities run wild with images of David and Chloe together in a scene that features not one but two intercut orgasm clichés: David’s hand pressed up against a glass window as he appears to be with Chloe and Catherine putting her showerhead to good use.

The more steamy Chloe claims her encounters with David are, the more Catherine is turned on, forcing Catherine’s sexual frustration to come to a head as she makes a mad dash to Lesbian Town with all the confidence in the world.

When Catherine resurfaces, drama ensues: Catherine and David’s secrets come rushing to the surface, damaging their son Michael (Max Thieriot) in the process. Catherine tries to do right by David, while Chloe becomes more obsessed – and intertwined – in the Stewart family. All the drama leads to what can only be described as a classic lesbian breakup.

Without giving away the film’s ending, Chloe provides moviegoers with a sexually charged climax (zing!) that only deepens our love and respect for Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried. Their on screen chemistry rivals Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct – and leaves you with a lasting memory of what it was like to be with a woman for the first time.

Chloe opens this Friday in limited theaters nationwide.

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