Lace up those skates, girls, because the Whip It! trailer you’ve been dreaming about is finally here. Now, I think it’s best to ease you in before you click play on 2 minutes and 21 seconds of concentrated girls-on-skates action. First, maybe take another looks at the first preview pictures released last week. Then feast your eyes on our heroine, Bliss Cavendar.
Yes, that’s Ellen Page, cute glasses and a crash helmet. You’re welcome. Speaking of helmets, you may want to wear one right about now because you might otherwise be knocked out by the sheer kick-assery of this trailer.
If ever there was a time for hyperbolic online acronyms, now would be it. So, let’s get them all out of your system. ZOMG! LOL! GOSRSFH! (What — that’s Girls On Skates Rock So Freaking Hard, duh.)
Whip It! tells the story of small Texas town outsider, Bliss (played by Ellen), who escapes her beauty pageant world to find freedom, fun and friendship in the rock ‘em, sock ‘em world of roller derby. She also finds a fantastic skater name: Babe Ruthless.
Ellen is joined by her sisters in skates, Smashley Simpson (Drew Barrymore, also in her directing debut), Malice in Wonderland (Kristen Wiig), Rosa Sparks (Eve) and Bloody Holly (Zoe Bell).
And then, of course, there is her nemesis Dinah Might (Juliette Lewis).
There is so much to like about this trailer. The punk-rock empowerment, Ellen’s blue hair, the killer cast, Ellen’s glasses — wait, where was I?
Granted, the story itself seems all-too familiar: A teen outcast finds herself through the redemptive power of (insert activity here — dance, soccer, cheerleading, karate, pregnancy, you name it). It even comes complete with the disapproving parents, the rebellious new friends and a dreamy boyfriend.
Still, even if we’ve seen the transformation from awkward beginner to skilled expert a million times before, we’ve never seen it in skates.
Plus, any movie that has Kristen tells us to, “put some skates on — be your own hero” is a movie I will happily plunk down $10.50 for a ticket and $37.25 for a tub of popcorn, box of Junior Mints and small soda.
So, ladies, are you ready to strap on some skates?