Some movies end in ways that are deeply unsatisfying (Memento), deeply unsettling (Cracks) or just make you want to scratch your head (Robot Overlords). Sometimes, this feeling is caused by the sense that the movie should have ended not with the guy getting the girl, but with a girl getting the girl. The protagonist had more chemistry with another woman than with her designated male love interest. The following four movies would have been a lot more fun if Prince Charming had turned out to be Princess Charming.
Honestly, I thought the big reveal near the end of the movie was going to be that Cynthia Rose was actually straight and acapella group co-captain Chloe Beale was gay. Let’s be honest: What’s-his-name was a lot less interesting than Chloe, who several times looked like she was on the verge of making out with Beca Mitchell. Obviously, I wasn’t the only one who thought that, since Bechloe is so well known that Brittany Snow (Chloe) and Anna Kendrick (Beca) still make jokes about it (Anna even tweeted she was “Especially proud of our #Chemistry win @Brittanysnow #BechloeIsReal“).
Beca’s chemistry with Jesse Swanson was so underwhelming that he barely had screen time in Pitch Perfect 2, and no one really cared. Chloe got a throwaway line about wishing she’d experimented more in college, but no follow-through.
I ship Beca and Kommissar as well, but Bechloe will always be the way Pitch Perfect should have ended because they would have been aca-awesome.
Bend it Like Beckham may have been originally written as a lesbian love story, and it shows. Jess Bhamra and Jules Paxton have loads of chemistry, and at a certain point, it seems like Jules is about to admit that she’s jealous of Jess’ interest in their coach Joe because she’s interested in Jess. Then it turns out they’re both interested in Joe. Wait, what?
All of the pieces of a lesbian storyline seem to be in place: Jules is a tomboy who doesn’t (at first) seem interested in getting a boyfriend, and Jess is the daughter of immigrants hiding a secret she fears will disappoint them. Any lesbian who watched the movie instantly picked up on the chemistry between them, and it never made sense that they didn’t end up together…or did they? After all, at the end of the movie they get on a plane for California. Maybe there they ditched their merkin Joe and lived happily ever after, forming what would become the Women’s United Soccer Association and starting their own clothing line of fashionable women’s leather jackets.
Confession time: Bring It On is one of my favorite movies. As in, it’s in the top two. The movie has all the hallmarks of a camp classic: memorably funny lines, a superficially frivolous sports rivalry based in actual socioeconomic and racial tensions and cheerleaders. When we first meet Missy Pantone, cheerleader Courtney sneers that Missy “looks like an über-dyke” and throughout the rest of the movie, Missy’s sexuality is never defined. She’s excited to find out that male cheerleader Les is queer, has a fake bicep tattoo, doesn’t display any interest in dating boys, and seems disappointed that protagonist Torrance Shipman is interested in her brother.
While Torrance goes on to date Missy’s brother Cliff, maybe she should have dated Missy instead. After all, Missy is the person who taught Torrance to go with her moral fiber and not steal the routine of a rival squad, then stood by her when her own squad threatened to rebel in consequence. Their great chemistry is wasted in favor of a safe, socially acceptable heterosexual stand in, but what if Torrance had realized that Cliff wasn’t her muse…but Missy?
There have been five Resident Evil movies (and an upcoming sixth in 2017), but the first one is still my favorite. Alice (Milla Jovovich) is an Umbrella Corp security covert operative who is head of security at the Hive. Rain (Michelle Rodriguez) is part of an Umbrella Corp elite special forces commando unit sent in to see what’s going on in the Hive after a viral outbreak. Together, they battle zombies before Rain is finally turned. Rain was such a popular character that she returned 10 years later in Resident Evil: Retribution and has an epic fight scene with Alice.
Two strong, butt-kicking heroines, with good interpersonal chemistry, Resident Evil could have ended with them sharing a passionate kiss and then loading up their weapons for the inevitable round two against the zombies.
