Sapphic Cinema: “The Hunger”

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Less than twenty-four hours after sticking the man who got her through the industrial revolution in the attic, Miriam sets her sights on Sarah, who is only too happy to ditch her boyfriend, Steve Or Whatever. So she goes to Miriam’s house, ostensibly to research Bowie’s dramatic aging, but once she’s at the front door she runs her hand through her curls and admits she doesn’t know why she’s there. That moment is as close as I get to the butterflies, because she knows exactly why she’s there and so does Miriam.

But Miriam, being an immortal being with all the time in the world, draws out her seduction until Sarah just pours some sherry on her shirt so she’ll have an excuse to get her tits out. What follows is a sex scene that I fully appreciate is IMPORTANT but, it must be said, is also EXCRUCIATING.  Like, I’m trying to imagine the conversations that went down when planning this scene.

thehunger11LESBIAN SEX IS 80% DIAPHANOUS SCARVES. THIS IS A KNOWN FACT.

thehunger12THE INNER ELBOW IS THE CHIEF EROGENOUS ZONE.

Fucking Stepmom was more erotic.

It does bear mentioning, though, that in the original script, Sarah was supposed to be drunk for this scene, and Sarandon insisted she play it sober because “I felt it was more interesting if both characters were on the same playing field, instead of her taking advantage of me.” Actually, you should read this entire interview because it fully confirms how clueless directors are about how to stage lesbian sex scenes. (They had her on a PAINT MIXER. So she would JIGGLE.)

Anyway, like every queer ever, Miriam is sure to give Sarah a big old hickey to take home to her boyfriend and ensure they break up. And like every queer ever, she also gave her a blood disease that will bind their souls and ensure they are together FOREVER.

That night, over dinner, the boyfriend gets suspicious, and to his credit, is one of the only lesbian film boyfriends who think it’s A LITTLE GODDAMN SUSPICIOUS HOW MUCH TIME YOU’RE SPENDING WITH THAT WOMAN.

He’s even more suspicious when they find track marks/vampire bites on her arm. (Like I said, it’s a drugs metaphor? Willem Dafoe makes a cameo? Who cares.)

Miriam is all about the floating silk stuff, but not too keen on the vampirism part of the deal.

thehunger13 NAH IT’S CHILL.

Miriam: I see you’ve killed and eaten your boyfriend. Are you upset about that?

Sara: No that part I wish I’d done years ago. But I gotta opt out for the part where I live forever as your girlfriend. I just came out, you know? I need to play the field!

It culminates in a scene in which all Miriam’s former lovers arise from their coffins and kill her, leaving Sarah to take up the mantle of head vampire in charge. And to the best of my knowledge, Susan Sarandon has neither aged nor stopped seducing pretty young things since that day.

thehunger14 I KEPT THE FLOATING SCARVES, TO ALWAYS REMEMBER MY FIRST.

So there you have it. There are more and better movies that explore lesbianism/vampirism/drug addiction, but this is the only one that really matters.

The Breakdown:

Sex Scene: One? Assuming they actually manage to find each other’s bodies in between the light and the blood and the scarves.

Sex Scene Quality: Just hug an older lesbian, okay? They had so little to work with.

Musical Number: Still the best part.

Moral of the story: Don’t keep your exes in the attic.

How Many Times Have You Seen It Elaine?: Three but I still fucking think that girl is Edward Furlong. They should really rename IMDB “No that is not Edward Furlong, Elaine.”

Happy Halloween! Next week we will be covering Show Me Love, aka Fucking Amal. Because you asked nicely.

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