“Goonies” never say die, even though maybe they should

The Goonies is one of my favorite childhood movies.

I say that using present tense, though I haven’t seen it since I was
twelve. I suspect that may be one reason I can remember it so fondly,
actually, but what I remember is the stuff of the heroic longings of
adolescence: To fit into a group, no matter how misfit; to save a bad
situation and make your parents proud; to outsmart some bad guys and
prove your superiority over adults; to sweep Andy (Kerri Green)
off her feet and show her what a real kiss is like. It’s possible that
last one was just me.

I liked Stef (Martha Plimpton), of course, with her baby butch haircut and
wiseass mouth, but really wanted to be her, then sit down to some duets
with Andy. What? I took years of piano lessons.

Since its release, rumors of a Goonies

sequel have made the rounds. There was that video game from 1987
(which you can play here — bless nostalgia on the internet!), and rumors
as recent as 2003 and 2005 that something was in the works. And now,
we have Corey Feldman and Sean Astin swearing that this
time, it will really happen. I’m not sure what in the blog horrifies me
more. An animated sequel? Ugh. A made-for-DVD release? Why bother?
A reunion movie that reunites the goonies and their kids? Well, here’s
a visual:

Not bad, 20 years later. But I detest reunion movies; I find them depressing
(for much the same reason I skip out on my own high school reunions
— I like reminiscing about the good times, but they’re usually best
left in the past). This one would lose much of its charm. I mean,
just think if somebody tried to create a sequel of The Princess Bride
— the mists of memory are much kinder.

So, yeah. I vote we leave this
one as an ’80s classic. (Unless we can swing a story line where
a divorced Andy meets up with a never-married Stef, and reminiscing
leads to something more.)

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