Documenting Kids of Queer Parents

She sees broader social changes since her film first appeared, too. Her mother and her her mother's partner were able to marry in Massachusetts. Same-sex couples can now marry in Massachusetts and California and may soon be able to do so in New York.

While she celebrates these victories, she knows there is a long road ahead. Marriage equality remains a political touchstone, and there is still homophobia and harassment — even in places like Massachusetts.

Spadola reflected, however, that her toddler son is going to grow up in a very different world than she did. "He knows all kinds of different shapes and sizes of families," she said, including several with two moms and one with a mom parenting solo. In his own family, he has four grandmothers: "my mother and my mother's wife and my husband's mother and my father's wife. We have names for each of them, because you can't just say 'Grandma.'"

Meema Spadola

Photo credit: Ry Russo-Young

She is a member of COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) and often hears people joke that her son, and others like him, will have to start GOLAGE: Grandchildren of Lesbians and Gays. "The queerspawn have spawn, and wow, now what do we do?" Spadola said with a laugh.

She still worries, however, about protecting him from homophobia. What if he hears people say that two women can't be married? "He'll say 'Wait a second. Baba and Grammy are married. What does that mean?'" Spadola said. "I'm sure we'll have conversations about that in the years to come. I just want us to be part of the larger American family, to have the right to be just like any other family," as imperfect as that is.

"I love the phrase 'love makes a family,'" she explained, "but I've always said fighting with your brother at Thanksgiving makes a family, or talking back to your mom makes a family, or all of the things that are normal make a family. I don't want us to have to be happy and rainbow all the time. I just want us to be able to exist."

Despite her struggles, Spadola said, "I am profoundly grateful for the family I grew up in, both for my lesbian mother and my straight dad. What I went through wasn't easy. I wish that I hadn't grown up in a homophobic society. I think it has made me stronger in so many ways and I'm happy. I feel like I've been queered a little bit. I'm not a completely straight person because of that experience, and I love that that's part of my life."

Our House is now available on DVD. For more on the film, visit its website.