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Morning Brew: Wednesday, April 28

Brewbies, when I woke up this morning I had a feeling it was going to be an awesome day, and not just because I managed to get my eyes open before my cat demanded her breakfast by biting my face. No, I just sensed that something good was going to happen, and guess what? I was right: Portia is going to be on Ellen today!

In these dark and trying times of high-profile lesbian breakups and stalled equality legislation and really, really crappy lesbian and bisexual storylines on American TV, it’s nice to know that we can count on Ellen and Portia to be a beacon of hope and a barrel of laughs.

For the last several days, Ellen has been telling her audience that Portia thinks she’s discovered a new animal species in their backyard. Today she’s going on Ellen to describe it to a police sketch artist so they can figure out what kind of creature they’re dealing with. (Let it be a Pikachu! Oh, please let it be a Pikachu!)

(Thanks, roni1133, for making my morning with your tip!)

We found out yesterday that Naya Rivera and Heather Morris are being promoted to series regulars on Glee. Dorothy Snarker is going to have a full rundown on the blog today about what that might mean for Brittana, but in the meantime The Advocate has a fun interview with Morris that is worth a read.

The Advocate: Speaking of great lines, Brittany recently asked Santana, “Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” – which might be the most brilliant thing she’s said so far … That line should be on a t-shirt.

Morris: I know. You know, they do have “I Bet the Duck’s in the Hat” t-shirts – from the episode where Brittany thought a ballad was a male duck? My mom called me and was like, “I just bought some ‘I Bet the Duck’s in the Hat’ t-shirts and I’m wearing one right now!”

(Thanks for the tip, Boutrie!)

Hey Guiding Light fans, want to furnish your home with Otalia nostalgia? The New York Times got cheeky yesterday about an auction that might interest you:

On Saturday, soap opera fans will have a chance to own their pieces of broadcasting history when the props of a long-lived and recently canceled television serial are sold at an auction in Brooklyn. The catch is that Procter & Gamble won’t give permission for the name of the soap opera to be used in the promotion of the auction. But here’s some guidance: the show in question was the longest-running scripted program in broadcasting history before CBS ran its final episode in September.

That dining room table beside which Olivia and Natalia almost kissed? That bed where they very nearly held hands? The bookshelves in front of which they gazed at one another adoringly? They can be yours – if you’re anywhere near the Brooklyn Navy Yard on Saturday at 11 a.m.

But maybe you don’t like auctions; maybe you’d rather attend a gala, you fancy pants gay. Well, tonight is Marriage Equality New York’s 12th Annual Gala. This year, they’re honoring B.D. Wong, Shannon Minter and New York state senator Jose Peralta, among other LGBT rights activists.

And this weekend, the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center is holding “An Evening with Women.” For the annual auction, Christina Aguilera has donated tickets and backstage passes to one of her concerts. And Linda Perry has donated a whole day in a studio, in which the winner can record his or her own songs or cover Perry’s songs, while she plays the role of producer! (I don’t even think I’d have the guts to play RockBand in front of Linda Perry.)

Finally – and this is important, you guys, so pay attention – tonight WE premieres its new reality show, Sunset Daze and I cannot [deleted expletive] wait. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this trailer:

It’s Golden Girls meets Jersey Shore, and Gail (the red-headed one with the husky NYC accent) is a gay rodeo patron and proud mother of a gay cowboy! You can have The Real L Word; I want to see Blanche Devereaux jump out of an airplane after her pole dancing class!

Also tonight: Ellen and the other Idol judges send another contestant packing, and lesbian chef Susan Feniger competes on Top Chef Masters.

Meet me here tomorrow, and seriously, you’re welcome for that Sunset Daze clip.

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