MTV preps a reality show about a bisexual girl band

MTV is moving ahead with plans to produce a reality series based on the experiences of an up-and-coming bisexual girl band. Cool, right? Music and bisexual babes who aren’t bad to look at — what could possibly go wrong?

I’m not just saying this because I’m a bit of a music snob, but I’ve listened to the one song said bisexual band, Electric Barbarellas, have up on MySpace and it’s a train wreck. The beats are OK — nothing I haven’t already heard — but their voices are about as appealing to listen to as having Fran Drescher read out of a Yiddish dictionary. Also, the fact that the Indonesian girls (Miz Milinka and Delizious Devina) are being marketed as “bisexual” screams gimmick to me. As far as I’m concerned, it just means they are huge fans of “I Kissed a Girl.”

Stranger still: The girls were a group a few years ago but broke up in 2007 to pursue their own solo DJ careers. So are they back together again simply for the show?

The water coolers over at MTV are coming to an angry boil as at least one employee has described the girls as, “a cross between the Pussycat Dolls and Spice Girls, except raunchier and not as musically gifted, if that’s possible.” The MTV hallways are also abuzz with accusations that the girls are only getting this gig because 87-year-old Viacom chairman and huge fan of the comb-over, Sumner Redstone, has a big crush on the duo.

Suddenly this is starting to sound like a cross between The Girls Next Door, t.A.T.u. and The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Here’s where I try to make lemons into lemonade: MTV has an incredible ability to make cringe-worthy “reality” shows that audiences love to hate and therefore obsess over. Case in point: I can tell you that I’ve always loved Kristin Cavelleri on Laguna Beach and thought she made a better fit for Stephen than LC. Also, Heidi Montag used to be the sweetest, most sane person on The Hills. Why do I know these things? Because I couldn’t escape the draw of these shows! I not only watched, but celebrated, memorized and rewatched episodes from the first 20 seasons of The Real World. Every Saturday and Sunday when 16 and Pregnant or Teenage Moms comes on, I sit with my mouth gaping open and my head shaking back and forth and physically cannot get myself to turn off my television and go outside.

When Tila Tequila’s bisexual dating show, A Shot at Love, came on, my friend and I used to order Thai food and hunker down for the night to enjoy the drama. While it wasn’t necessarily the best representation in the world, at the very least, it gave us Dani Campbell and the phrase, “Hey girl hey.” I’m sure I should be ashamed for watching these shows religiously, but I’m just not that kind of girl.

Even if the programming choices aren’t your cup of tea, it is impossible to ignore the fact that MTV has done an incredible job of bringing the GLBTQ community to the eyes and ears of pop culture. In fact, this year, GLAAD found MTV the most gay-friendly network of the last year. Never forget that The Real World gave us AIDS educator Pedro Zamora.

So this could be a total flop and another piece of garbage to add to the never-ending pile that already exists; but I’m gonna give this piece a chance. I made it through all seven seasons of The L Word, didn’t I?

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