The Dinah buys into Katy Perry

Pretend for a second that you’re a member of an iconic lesbian duo that’s been around for, oh, 20 years or so; or that you’re one of the two lesbian members of a woman-loving band whose popularity exploded this year; or, even easier, pretend that you actually kiss girls, and actually like it. While you’re imagining that you’re one of those people, pretend that the singer who gets top billing at the most dyke-tastic weekend of the year is Katy Perry.

Now you know what the Indigo Girls and Uh Huh Her feel like.

“NEWS FLASH! KATY PERRY (I kissed a girl) HEADLINES THE CLUB SKIRTS DINAH SHORE WEEKEND!” shouts Dinah’s website.

(Oh, and P.S., some actual lesbian bands will be there too. Or whatever.)

I should probably ease up on Katy Perry, but it’s so hard for me. It’s not just that I think her song — while catchy — is vapid and careless and inspires vapidity and carelessness in other people; it’s that she has somehow become the poster child for lesbian entertainment this year. First the radio play and downloads of “I Kissed a Girl.” Then the Out magazine cover. Now she’s headlining Dinah?

Maybe it’s just me, but I kind of like my lesbians, you know, gay.

This has been a tough year for queer folks in real life and in the entertainment world. Lesbian characters are evaporating into nothingness (getting into their cars and driving from Seattle Grace into The Void), and bisexual characters serve as guest star road blocks, until main characters can get back together with their boyfriends.

Perhaps the diminishing return on our investment makes us grasp at straws. “OK, so Katy Perry isn’t actually gay. But she did touch her lips to another girl’s cherry chapstick, even if it was just to tease her boyfriend, so let’s just sign her up to sing to us, to represent our community!”

I just really don’t want to return to the place where fauxmosexuality (i.e. kissing girls as a publicity stunt) is rewarded with a typhoon of media attention. If you even glance at Page Six, you’ll find it full of flailing reality stars who are trying to maintain their hype by making out with chicks at some paparazzi-filled bar.

Katy Perry represents that trend to me.

What do you think about Katy Perry headlining Dinah: dykesplotation or catchy dance tunes?

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