Maxim fails to maximize its potentional yet again

The men have spoken: Maxim has come out with its annual list of the 100 Most Beautiful Women. This year’s list is a veritable who’s who of reality television, teen queens and people I’ve never even heard of. If you haven’t gotten around to picking up your copy of Maxim or your subscription has ill timely run out, don’t fret – here is a breakdown of this year’s chosen ones.

Knocking Lindsay Lohan off her throne at number one is Marisa Miller, a Sports Illustrated cover girl and Victoria’s Secret model. Poor Lindsay — how could she stand a chance against someone with that kind of resume? But fear not, as Lohan wasn’t completely ousted; she fell eight spots to number nine. (Maxim must deduct sexy points for DWI records.)

Filling in the rest of the top 10 are:

2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Jessica Biel
4. Eva Longoria Parker
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
6. Elisha Cuthbert
7. Eva Mendes
8. Christina Aguilera
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Ashley Tisdale

Let me continue on a positive note – there were some surprises: America Ferrera (No. 84), Danica Patrick (No. 91), Emma Watson (No. 94) and Zooey Deschanel (No. 95) all made the list. Granted they are all toward the bottom, but still this is progress and we need to start somewhere. Makes you wonder if maybe, just maybe, the guys over at Maxim got tipped off about the AfterEllen Hot 100 and decided to incorporate some of our carefully chosen favorites into their list. But then I came to No. 36 (Heidi Montag), No. 56 (Lauren Conrad), and No. 74 (Audrina Partridge) — all the ladies of MTV’s “reality” show The Hills were present and accounted for. Ah well, so much for progress.

A number of teen sensations made the countdown: Ashley Tisdale (No. 10), Vanessa Hudgens (No. 12) and Taylor Swift (No. 57) – personally I find it a little creepy that they are even on here because they are so young. I know they are all over 18 and that makes them adults, but Swift has only recently turned legal and Tisdale and Hudgens are famous for their roles as high school students … in a Disney movie. Their core audiences are tweens between the ages of 9 and 14. I know that, clearly, I’m not Maxim’s target demographic, but last I checked, I didn’t think anyone eligible to be in the Mickey Mouse Club was either.

Additional list makers: Ashley Olson (No. 47) but oddly enough, not her twin sister Mary-Kate. I guess there wasn’t room for both of them because all of The Pussycat Dolls (No.17) filled the designated quota of multiple women allowed to occupy one spot on the countdown. Britney Spears also made the list coming it at No. 19 (because mental breakdowns are always hot.) And last but certainly not least — barely getting a shot at the Maxim list — is No.100, everyone’s favorite “bisexual,” Tila Tequila. Are you interested?

We can argue ad nauseam about this list and why someone was this number and who should have been that number, but what’s done is done. Thankfully, AfterEllen.com has their own list — which will be published on June 2nd — so the power of democracy is still rightfully in our hands. If you don’t like what the guys at Maxim had to say then speak your mind here!

Do you think the AfterEllen 100 list will look anything like Maxim’s?

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