The best thing that has ever happened to me is Cards Against Humanity (second only to getting my dog, obviously.) Originally created by a group of friends in a suburb of Chicago as a New Year’s Eve activity, the “party game for horrible people” was later financed through Kickstarter and stole mine, and the hearts of the politically incorrect everywhere, in 2011. Long story short, it’s the game that you always wanted Apples to Apples to be: raunchy, inappropriate and crass. Since then, I have taken to using the game as a litmus test for potential suitors, my only real criteria in a mate being if they can gain my dog’s approval and beat me at CAH. Having spent years playing with nearly every lez this side of the planet, I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite lesbian-inspired rounds. It should be noted, these are not all suitable for the easily offended/faint of heart. Have strap-on, will travel. You can’t spell ambiance without buzzing. If you don’t move, they can’t see you. On today’s agenda: being fabulous. Sure seems to be a lot of old and flaky caulk in those antique windows. I’m not gay but my vagina is. OMG, I LOVE THIS ANI SONG. So like, are you still a virgin? #penetratingthoughts Crikey! You mean they’re not elusive? You had me at side-swept bangs. I’m gonna need to take five. Today, on Myths and Legends. I mean, we all sat through Salmonberries, right? RIGHT? How to make a church with your fingers: a tutorial. Can you find me now? Compartmentalizing isn’t just a city in China. I prefer a diet that is (Adrienne) Rich in lesbians. Tell me more about your new “roommate.” Nothing gets me hotter than, “Let’s make a baby.” War! What is it good for? All hail the OG. Processing. On the next Geraldo. Download your own deck of Cards Against Humanity for free and make it as lesbian as possible for ultimate fun.