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Getting gay with “Blender”

In honor of gay pride week, music magazine Blender (it’s basically Maxim with occasional ads for cds and guitar strings) has released it’s list of the gayest moments in music.

Naturally the list is comprised mostly of men–Elton John, George Michael, Lou Reed, Lance Bass–but there are a smattering of women included. And they’re mostly the usual suspects.

1.) t.A.T.u. leading an underwear-clad, back-flipping teen “lesbian” revolution at the 2003 MTV Movie Awards.

2.) “Groom” Madonna kissing her devoted virginal “brides” Britney Spears and Xtina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Movie Awards.

The brief appearance of Missy Elliott added some additional butchy flavor to the number, and how cute is Queer Eye‘s Carson Kressley freaking out like a teenage baby dyke over all of the girl-on-girl action?

2003 was a good year for pseudo-lesbianism.

3.) In 1997 the Indigo Girls play the first Lillith Fair.

‘Nuff said.

4.) k.d. lang getting a close shave from supermodel Cindy Crawford (a Vanity Fair cover shot by Herb Ritts). Lang’s take on the controversial photo? “The idea was to show my dream date, a beautiful woman…fawning over me. But it was for fun. People read into it needlessly.”

The cover shot was hot:

But the interior shot was hotter:

5.) Melissa Etheridge “borrowing sperm” (Blender‘s term, not mine. When does she plan to give it back?) from David Crosby back in 2000.

Not bad, Blender. But I would add to the list some of my own personal favorites:

1.) Stevie Nicks unnecessarily sharing a microphone with her pretty back-up singer on Solid Gold (god I’m old), Saturday Night Live, and on tour, well, everywhere back when I was on the edge of 14. Even if she did snort a fair amount of her fortune, Stevie could still afford enough mics to go around. That’s why I thought it was weird (i.e. titillating) when she was singing cheek to cheek with her look-a-like backup singer. And don’t get me started on how all of this ignites the homophobic “lesbianism = narcissism” theories.

Don’t even get me started.

2.) Joan Jett and Carmen Electra in the “A.C.D.C.” video. The rumored couple make a flashy appearance together (briefly) in Jett’s saucy cover of Sweet’s tribute to a rascally bisexual girl.

3.) Queen Latifah plays a badass lesbian in Set it Off (1996). Yeah, the movie is a downer, but, hello, Vivica A. Fox! Jada Pinkett Smith! Rawr! And, best of all, the Queen herself getting crazy with champagne, the hood of a car, and her super sexy femme girlfriend.

(Sorry kids, I tried but couldn’t find a larger photo of that scene. We’ll all just have to make do.)

4.) Eccentric chanteuse Sophie B. Hawkins’s song/video “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover.” In her VH1 Duets concert with Hawkins, Joan Osborne, Paula Cole, and Jewel (find a copy if you can, it’s amazing), Etheridge announced, “Damn, I wish I had written this song!” before launching into a raucous cover of the hit with Hawkins herself.

The line “I lay by the ocean making love to her with visions clear” caused a minor controversy and the wacky original video (think interpretive dance) for the song was shelved in favor of something a little more restrained (i.e. less crazy). And in the second version, the camera cut away from Hawkins as she sang the lesbianic line in question. Drat.

5.) Ann Wilson swinging that big hammer in the Heart video for “What About Love.” Yeah this video (and all the others for the 1986 Heart album) was cheeztastic, but I’ll give Ann and Nancy a pass for anything, even those unfortunate poodle perms they were sporting for the cover of Bebe le Strange back in 1980. I always got “the vibe” from Ann Wilson, even before I was dealing with my own vibe. Did you?

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