“Mistresses” recap (1.04): Lady Loving Lips

Joss once again meanders into the Davis kitchen, finding Savi there this time. Joss asks her sister for advice on how to tell Alex that Sally is kind of the worst and that they should probably break up. Savi tells Joss it’s not her business and starts to project, telling her little sister that some people can work THROUGH relationship problems, and not everyone bails when things get tough like she does. Harsh, Sav. Harsh.

Alex and Joss meet up at a swanky party. Sally flaked, and Alex hates going to these things alone. Sensing a bit of normalcy in her tone, Joss asks if this happens a lot. Alex quickly takes the blame for Sally bailing, saying she should know better than to RSVP yes to things on weekdays and quickly changes the subject. When pointing out the hostess and her girlfriend, Joss realizes this is sort of a lesbian party and is excited to be a straight girl at a lesbian party – she says she feels like she has a “dirty little secret.” Alex flirts back and says that based on their conversations, it sounds like Joss has a lot of secrets.

Joss disappears to get them drinks and Alex is approached by a behatted lesbian whose pick-up lines are not nearly as awesome as her outfit. Alex tries to play it cool but when Joss returns she can sense Alex’s discomfort. Without skipping a beat, Joss pretends to be Alex’s girlfriend and calls her Ally-bear before kissing her square on the mouth.

Alex panics and says “don’t” and scurries away, which is the opposite of what you’re supposed to do when Joss kisses you. Joss is genuinely concerned/confused because, not having had many girl friends, let alone lesbians friends, she doesn’t get that she just added like three hours of processing to Alex’s already busy evening with one simple kiss.

When Mistress Miranda returns to the waiting room with her broken baby, she finds April waiting there, to make sure they’re okay. The Mistress is surprised that April is so nice, given their situation, because superbitches expect everyone else to be superbitches, too. As it turns out, April SHOULD have been a superbitch, because, in a secret meeting, the lawyer that served April papers gives Miranda his card we find out he’s not a real lawyer at all, just an actor.

Meanwhile, Savi is back at the doctor, inquiring about how and when they can do paternity testing…and whether it can be done stealthily. Fortunately, this doctor did a stint in Pine Valley and happens to be a master of secret paternity testing. All he needs is some DNA, however she can obtain it.

In the Kitchen of Feelings again, Joss is lamenting to Harry that she messed up her brand new best-friendship with Alex with a fake makeout. She says she hasn’t been able to keep a female friend since grade school and her brother-in-law gives her a pity grilled cheese. Harry tries to offer brotherly advice by saying, “If you ever bothered to think before you act…” but Joss interrupts with the truest of truths and says, “Then I wouldn’t be me.”

Never change, Joss. You impulsive free spirit.

A knock on the door interrupts their conversation – it’s a teary-eyed Alex, there to see Joss. Harry disappears into the background, leaving the girls to talk about why Alex looks so distraught. Sally and Alex have just had a huge fight and Alex didn’t know where else to go. Joss hugs her tight and tells her it’s okay.

In Savi’s office, Dom is thanking her for blowing off court and getting him back on the case she got him kicked off of. She assures him she did not do it on purpose. This court case storyline isn’t super relevant except that Savi looks AMAZING.

The next morning, Joss brings Alex breakfast in bed and tells her that she can stay there as long as she wants to. She also asks if the fight had anything to do with her. Alex admits that it did have everything to do with her – their new friendship gave Alex a new insight into her relationship, she saw it through different eyes, through Joss’s eyes. Joss hurriedly tells her that her eyes are stupid and not to listen but Alex tells her that she was right all along, that Sally wasn’t treating her right and she shouldn’t put up with it. She tells Joss she’s a good friend and Joss perks up like a puppy who just heard the word “treat.” Literally the cutest thing.

In the main house, Savi watches a half-naked Harry shave and then starts vaguely apologizing for things. It’s really a miracle Harry can’t tell she’s hiding something, between the spontaneous vacation and the “will you always love me?” conversation. He is oblivious, though, so he just heads off to work like it was a normal morning and Savi takes the opportunity to steal his razor.

Next week, Karen better go find Handsome Jacob or she’s out of another recap, and things get steamy between Alex and Joss. Get excited.

Here are some of our favorite #HomoWrecker tweets from this week:

What did you think of “A Kiss Is Just A Kiss”?

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