“Mistresses” recap (1.11): The Kids Are Not All Right

Joss goes to pick up ice cream for the party but is in a dither because there are no normal flavors at the place Alex sent her and Alex isn’t answering the phone and WHAT IS CHOCOLATE BACON ICE CREAM?! Olivier calls and interrupts her panic session to ask her to work that night, and she agrees, calling Alex back and canceling on her.

Across town, Karen’s case takes a turn for the even-worse-than-it-already-was when Sam comes in as the next witness and says that he took his mom out for dinner the night Tom died, at his father’s request. After making his statement, he looks at Karen with his soulless eyes, and with his usual sociopathic calmness, says the word ‘sorry’ with absolutely zero feeling in his voice.

During a break in the deposition, Sam pulls Karen aside and apologizes for leaving her high and dry. “Mothers before lovers, you understand.” Karen does not understand and tries to blame the psychopathic son of her ex-lover that she bedded for manipulating her and for not lying for her like he said he would. *facepalm*

That night, after her clients leave, Olivier surprises Joss by showing up at the house she was showing. Olivier is shamelessly flirting and finally Joss gives in and flirts back. She offers him a tour of the house and then gives him a tour of her body. (Ack, sorry. It was too easy.) He proves that he’s a big, fat, liar, because despite earlier promises, he does, in fact, bite.

That night, Joss comes home, tiptoeing around a sleeping Alex. Alex wakes up and asks if she was working all this time. Joss sort of evades the question, proving that she knows what she did was not going to go over well. She starts getting changed for bed, when Alex notices the bitemark Olivier left on Joss’s ribcage.

Mistresses 111-6

Alex is clearly hurt, but doesn’t seem all that surprised. She is very much not in the mood to talk about it, and puts the covers over her head to go to sleep without having to look at Joss, like the very mature adult she is, and rolls over so she doesn’t have to look at the offending bite mark anymore.

At the firm, Lawyer Lady has called in reinforcements. Handsome Jacob is there to save the day! Despite Karen’s protests, Handsome Jacob admits to the Lawyer that he very well could have been with Karen on the night of Tom’s death. Once the deposition starts up again, Handsome Jacob starts to tell everyone just that, but before he can say anything compromising, Karen makes one of her extremely rare good decisions and admits that yes, she was in love with Tom; yes, she prescribed him the morphine so he could kill himself; yes, she even offered to help; but no, she was not actually present at the time of his death, because he wouldn’t let her be. She then storms off to enjoy what I can only assume are her last few days of freedom.

Joss is somehow making pouring cereal look adorable when Alex storms in the kitchen and decides she’s changed her mind, she would like to talk about the bite mark, because she’s really upset.

Mistresses 111-7Eat “Flakes” for shiny, golden, angel hair like mine! Found wherever unicorn tears are sold.

They hadn’t set any boundaries, it wasn’t fair of Joss to just assume what they were. After some prodding, Joss finally admits that it was Olivier she slept with, and Alex thinks that she blew off the dinner party just to go have sex. Joss tries to explain that it wasn’t a planned thing, but Alex doesn’t want to hear it. Even if they had set boundaries the night before, Olivier would have been way, far outside any of those boundaries. Alex leaves even more angry than when she arrived.

Joss goes to her sister for some advice because she doesn’t understand why Alex is so upset. To her, sex is just sex, and she doesn’t know why people make such a big deal about it. It seems to me that Joss really wanted to be in an open relationship, but forgot to have that conversation with Alex first. Oops.

When it’s Savi’s turn to confess, she tells Joss that she thinks she wants to give Dom a chance. There’s something there, and she wants to take this opportunity to explore it while she can.

That afternoon, April goes to pick up Lucy from school, but the teacher on yard duty does not have a very good dismissal system and has no idea where April’s daughter is. “Maybe she went home with a friend,” the teacher unhelpfully suggests. April starts shouting about zombies and runs around in circles, yelling her daughter’s name, not unlike Michael careening around the Lost island screaming, “WAAAALLLLLTTTTT.”

Mistresses 111-8Maybe she’s embarrassed to be seen with you in one of her sweaters, April.

Next week on Mistresses, THERE’S A GUN. And Joss cries for help. It’s unclear whether these two things are related.

What did you think of “Full Disclosure”?

Here are some of our favorite #HomoWrecker tweets from this week:









And don’t worry, we’re giving Jes tools for Joss to use, should she get into a relationship with a woman next season:


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