The girls assemble to help April sort out this insanity. Joss thinks Mistress Bitch and Zombie Paul are in cahoots and now that Paul is planning on killing Miranda and taking the money all for herself and Scotty is probably just a tiny bandit in disguise. I guess Joss really has been watching Pretty Little Liars, because she jumped right into the murder plots. She is also is the one to suggest that maybe the lawyer was a fake and that this whole thing was a long con. April is determined to find out the truth by any means necessary.
The next morning, Alex comes in from hiking and is being a little distant. Joss asks why she didn’t wake her up and apologizes for leaving so quickly last night. She even says she knew that they should talk about what happened last night. Josslyn Carver. Wanted to talk about sex and its meaning. This is a huge deal, but Alex misses it because she’s too busy working up the courage to confess something to Joss.
She stammers a bit, spitting out incomplete thoughts about feelings and problems and friendship and Joss interrupts her and tells her to spit it out already. Alex can barely make eye contact with her as she says it, but she tells Joss that she can’t be friends with her anymore. She tells her that she doesn’t just like her, she LIKE likes her. Alex’s eyes light up as she starts listing all the reasons she thinks Joss is incredible, even if she doesn’t realize it. She tells Joss how safe she feels with her and how friendship just isn’t enough anymore. She doesn’t even consider asking Joss for more – she knows her better than to assume that’s something she’d want. Joss doesn’t know how to handle this information. She’s never even had a friend who was a girl, not one that was all hers, let alone have a friend who was a girl tell her she didn’t want to be friends anymore. All she can do is look at Alex with big, sad eyes and a quivering lip.
Joss immediately goes to Savi’s office for advice. Joss opens with the fact that they had sex again last night and Savi is too distracted to help her sister, so she just throws a quip at her about maybe not sleeping with everyone instead of being helpful. Savi’s seeming lack of empathy is all too reminiscent of their argument for Joss, so she says forget it and leaves Savi to her own problems.
Sam is taking stalking to a new level by first going to see Handsome Jacob as a therapist, then following Karen to her house. He (finally) admits to knowing that maybe the whole breaking-and-entering-and-creepy-note-leaving thing was taking things a bit far. He tells her that he loves her, and then he runs away, which is the first correct thing he has done so far this entire show.
Savi comes home to find Harry alone in the dark, as per usual. Harry takes her by the hand and looks her in the eyes and tells her that he loves her. Which makes her immediately burst into tears because she knows he’s about to hit her with something big. He tells her that he’s willing to move past everything, he’s willing to make them work, on one condition—that the baby is his. He tells her that if it’s not, she will have to choose. The big baby or the infant baby.
In the coffee shop, April and Miranda meet up and are almost being civil. Mistress Bitch is too distracted by the big, beautiful check she’s being handed to notice April’s shifty eyes, otherwise she might have seen the ambush coming. Paul walks in and when Miranda barely registers surprise, April snatches that check right out of her hand and tells her that enough is enough. Zombie Paul seems legitimately angry at Mistress Bitch for lying to him and trying to scam his ex-wife, but April cuts them off. She is tired of being in this funhouse of lies, so she tells them both to bugger off and leaves them and their soap opera drama behind.
While waiting for contractors to show up for their meeting, Joss is distracted and Olivier notices. He says something that has been said to me a time or two: “You haven’t spoken for three entire minutes, something is wrong.” Joss says she’s fine and Olivier surprises her by offering his ear. She’s a little perplexed, but she literally has no one else to turn to because her sister is too involved in her problems and her sister’s friends have their own problems, and her best friend IS the problem. So she tells Olivier that the single most important thing in her life is a friendship that is in jeopardy, and she doesn’t know what to do. He tells her that she may be many things, some of which he’s not too fond of, but if there’s one thing she is, it’s determined. He tells her that she’s not a quitter, especially when she cares about something. He calls her plucky and I finally find myself starting to like this guy.
This time, it’s Harry’s turn to find Savi sulking alone in a room of their home, and when he does, she tells him that no matter who the father is, she’s keeping the baby. With or without him. Savi asks Harry to fight for them, but Harry says he’s all out of fight. That one punch really did him in. Besides, wallowing is EXHAUSTING.
Back at her store, finally alone and with a sense of closure, April listens to the slew of supportive messages her friends have left her. She realizes that her friends are all that she needs and rips up the check, the smile finally back in those shiny gold eyes.
Pan to Zombie Paul, who is at his motel, but instead of checking out, he is extending his stay. Which cannot mean good things for April, Lucy, or Hot Dad.