“Mistresses” recap (1.06): Sexy Aunt

A desperate Savi goes to Harry’s restaurant again. She asks him to listen to a genius plan she has (that Karen probably helped her concoct). She offers to quit her job; to get away from Dom, to work less hours, to have more time together. She wants him to answer right away, but all he can muster is a tortured, “do what you want to do” and a shrug. She then points to the hostess and flat-out accuses him of sleeping with her. He puts on his best angry puppy face and says he doesn’t sleep with people he works with. Burn.

Joss is shopping when she runs into April. Joss tries to hide what she was browsing for behind her back, but she is so overcome with pride that she reveals the Sexy Aunt shirt to April and makes her promise not to tell Savi that they know.


She tells April to act surprised when Savi tells her and sweet, sweet April politely agrees. Fortunately, Joss can’t see the guilt behind those perfect golden eyes, knowing that Joss would be crushed if she knew she was the last to know.


April leaves Joss to meet up with Hot Dad, who is taking her to a Dodger’s game. Before they can leave and try for round two of Sex In Inappropriate Places, Mistress Bitch shows up. She has finally recovered from the initial shock and is not going to accept this payment plan option. She waves her arms around at the April’s fancy house and says surely she can afford more than she’s offering. April points out that SHE wasn’t the one having an affair, why should she be the one suffering because of it? Mistress Bitch, true to her name, tries to play the guilt card one last time on April and tells her that she could help if she wanted to but is choosing not to.

At the restaurant, Hostess McCleavage flirts with Harry, who actually notices this time now that it’s been spelled out for him. He is flattered but gently turns her down, because even though things are rough, he’s still married. I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’ll hear from Hostess McC.


At her new property, Joss starts chatting with the owner in Italian, because she can. She turns her charm to 10 and convinces the woman to let her take pictures of the property, even though she had been given explicit instructions not to. Unfortunately, Olivier doesn’t find this impressive. Quite the opposite. You see, he thinks he has her figured out. That she doesn’t think the rules apply to her, and that her ‘my way or the highway’ attitude won’t get her far. Joss, unused to not having the upper hand and being unable to control the situation entirely, storms out, beyond frustrated.

Now that it’s too late for her to be helped, Karen finally decides to seek out Handsome Jacob’s advice. She confesses that the break in might be because of her and tells Handsome Jacob she can’t tell him EVERYTHING, but that she’s sorry. Handsome Jacob finally tells her that she’s being INSANE. He gives her the tough love that Savi hasn’t been giving her and reminds her that her actions don’t just affect her. He tells her to take her sorry and shove it. Later, she finds a note from Sam that just says “Missing you” but if you read between the lines, it says “I’m going to murder you so many times.”

At Casa Davis, Savi just catches Harry as he’s about to head out again. She asks if he really wants her to take a new job, if she gets an offer. He finally breaks. He won’t let her take a job she hates for penance. It’s not that easy. He knows that if he said yes to that now, it would just lead to more resentment and more fights  She just wants a sign that they can fix this. He tells Savi he doubts a new job will fix anything and starts whimpering.

Hot Dad tells April that her junk is his junk now, too, and they’ll get through this Mistress Bitch chaos together. With a renewed fire, April meets Mistress Bitch and tells her that she’ll get her all the money in a few weeks so she can get out of her life once and for all. She also reminds her that she’s doing this for Scotty, because he doesn’t need to be caught up in his parents’ mistakes.

Joss pops into Olivier’s office, looking a little weary, donning the least attractive outfit she owns (which is still more attractive than any outfit I own).


She bids Olivier adieu and leaves, and right after she does, Olivier opens his cabinet to find it chock full of bananas, with a note saying “for your potassium.” Olivier lets out a real, genuine laugh and it seems our little Joss might be winning him over after all.

Glad to be done with this day, Joss walks into Casa Davis to let off steam with her sister. Overwhelmed with emotions, Savi finally admits to her sister that April and Karen knew she was pregnant before her. As she’s wont to do, she adds to the pregnancy announcement and admits that she had an affair and that Harry knows about it. Joss is confused as to why her big sister never thought to come to her while all of this was going on. Savi says she thought Joss would have let her off the hook, because it’s the kind of thing Joss does all the time. Joss steels herself and says she wouldn’t have said that, but she wouldn’t have judged. Savi says that’s the problem, she wanted to be judged, she wants to be yelled at and punished; she wants other people to treat her like she feels like she deserves to be treated.


Joss says Savi really didn’t tell her because she wanted to be the perfect big sister, heaven forbid she make a mistake, reveal that she’s not a perfect sister with a perfect house and a perfect job and a perfect marriage. Savi says Joss needs a good role model, that she made ONE mistake, one, but that she wasn’t like Joss.

Even standing here in the rubble of her broken marriage, the life she built literally crumbling in her hands, she’s judging Joss. The very kind of judgment she just admitted she knew Joss would never pass on her sister.

Joss never breaks any commitments, because she is careful not to have any. Joss is nothing if not genuine. Sure, she was the mistress in probably countless marriages. But they were never her commitments to break. As they say, it takes two to tango, and those men made their choices. I’m not saying she’s totally blameless, and she wouldn’t either. But that’s the thing — she’s honest. Always. Yes, she sometimes overlooks consequences for the sake of immediate people-pleasing (herself included), but she is never cruel. And, as she says, she would never purposefully make her sister, who she loves more than anyone, feel the way Savi just made her feel.


Savi, you’re pregnant with a baby who is either going to come out half-kangaroo or half-robot, one of your best friend is getting scammed by her dead husband’s potential mistress and her actor lawyer, and your other best friend is Karen. Do you really think JOSS is the one in need of a good role model?

Next week on Mistresses, it looks like Alex returns and Joss does a happy dance (and I’m sure we will, too).

What did you think of “Payback”?

Here are some of our favorite #HomoWrecker tweets from this week:








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