“Millionaire Matchmaker” does its best with lesbian pairing

I have never seen an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, so I didn’t know what to expect when I turned on Bravo last night for its very special lesbian episode. Matchmaker Patti Stanger was happy to finally have found a gay woman who actually thought it’d be a good idea to go on this show and find love. She found that gay woman in The Taste winner and former Real L Word appearer Chef K (Khristianne Uy).

Here’s Chef K‘s casting video.

Patti decides that there is a problem here. Chef K is butch and so she needs to find some feminine lesbians that are attracted to butchy women — and in Los Angeles! This is clearly why Chef K called in the big guns. This past summer, this casting call went out for femmes in the L.A. area:

CASTING CALL for you single lezzies out there! Millionaire Matchmaker is looking for lesbians for a GAY EPISODE! Looking for 12 FEMMES who want to possibly get hooked up with a hot, successful woman who might be a CeLEZbian

Application questions include “Tennis shoes or high heels?” but that doesn’t look to be specific to this lesbian episode.

The women who sent all of this information and links to their Facebook profile to Patti were then brought in for a line-up where Patti decides that scientist Michele is “bisexual, but has good energy” so she gets invited. Patti cant believe Michele has “tits like that” and is also smart.

Christina is “gay to the gay gay gay” and Patti doesn’t like her hair. “It looks weird, no offense!” she tells her, and Christina promises to smooth it out for the mixer.

Jillian is told to blow dry and straighten her hair and bring her sexiness.

Brittany is asked “Why do you have this ugly ass haircut when you’re such a pretty girl?” and is called an alternative weirdo. And yet she still decides to partake in this show.

Rocio is standing in front of Patti and crew who say “In the right attire, there’s a prettiness about her.” She’s encouraged to wear a push up bra.

And next, Chef K meets her potential future baby mamas.

After this group meet, Chef K is encouraged to “let the pussy do the pickin’” and singled out Rocio and Jillian for dates away from the group. I think Jillian lost the minute she said “I think my purpose is to be a catalyst through change with my singing.”

Chef K picked Rocio for a real date because she liked what she had to say about peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

But Rocio hates the ocean and Chef K enjoys fishing on her boat, so even though the date goes well, we are told at the end of the show that they never see each other again. Instead, it appears Chef K has found love with one of the other women at the mixer, Brittany. No word on if she’s pregnant just yet.

From what I am told, this episode follows the general Millionaire Matchmaker formula and that Patti is an equal-opportunity offender. I just couldn’t help but be horrified at the idea someone would hire her to help them when she seems to have little to no experience working with queer women. I don’t care what she told Jenny McCarthy about her lesbian experience back in the day, I don’t think I’d trust anyone who said Brittany’s haircut was anything but cute. Obviously Chef K agrees with me.

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