Michelle Obama celebrates the right to bare arms

 
 

Gay women know good arms. In fact, they’re kind of like our cleavage. We love them uninhibitedly and stare at them unabashedly. At times, they are even capable of temporarily turning off large portions of our cerebral cortex. So as a professional arms assessor, I feel that no matter your party affiliation or political views we can all agree on this particular point: Michelle Obama has hot arms.

There, I’ve said it. The first lady of the United States has rocking, stupendous, enviable, drool-inducing arms. The unveiling of her official White House portrait last week (seen above) was the final, unequivocal proof of her arms supremacy. They are fantastic and that she bares them with such frequency is even more fantastic. How frequently?

At the inaugural ball? Bare arms.

At her husband’s first address of a joint session of Congress? Bare arms.

At the first formal White House dinner? Bare arms.

At the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song celebration for Stevie Wonder? Bare arms.

On the covers of Vogue, People and Newsweek? Bare arms, bare arms, bare arms.

Since the inauguration, she has gone sleeveless with such regularity that I’ve had to check my calendar. Yep, still winter. Heavens, if this is what February brings then I can’t wait until August. Bare arms are fast on their way to becoming Michelle Obama’s trademark. You know, sort of like Nancy Reagan’s red dresses and Barbara Bush’s pearls, but so much hotter.

The press has made much of Obama’s arms. The New York Times called them “rippled and gleaming” while The Washington Post deemed them “post-Title IX arms.” The Irish Times, meanwhile, suggested that her arms spoke volumes, saying: “I’m too serious a woman to show off my legs or my breasts. My arms show that my focus is on achievement and self-control.”

The first lady’s call to arms has the rest of the world taking note of what queer women have known for ages. Strong arms are sexy. Still unconvinced? Hello, Jennifer Beals, Rose Rollins and Dara Torres.

Now, all this heavy breathing over Obama’s arms is in no way meant to merely objectify the first lady or trivialize her many accomplishments. Nor do I consider the noting of appearance to be a requisite or even necessarily appropriate when discussing women. But Obama’s bare arms bear notice for their exemplariness and singularity among the pantheon of past American first ladies.

Plus, admit it, if you had those arms you’d never wear sleeves either.

 
 

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