Great news for anyone who speaks Spanish or doesn’t mind not understanding a lot of dialogue: there’s a new lesbian couple on the Mexican drama Las Trampas Del Deseo (which sadly translates to The Pitfalls of Desire and not, as I had hoped, The Tramps of Desire). The ladies in question are Patricia and Lucia, and although theirs is not the primary storyline, there is plenty of kissing and yelling and more wine drinking than any show ever created, with the possible exception of Cougar Town.
This is never not happening.
I watched a couple of hours of their clips and here is what I have gleaned through guesswork and two years of college Spanish classes which I attended on a semi-regular basis.
1. U-Hauling transcends culture.
Patricia separates from her husband, Mario, to stay with Lucia, her best friend. Approximately five minutes after moving in, she starts having sex dreams about her “friend” which bespeak an intense desire as well as some fundamental misunderstandings about how lesbian sex works.
IT’S BETTER WITHOUT THE BRAS. TRUST ME.
2. People who live in glass houses should close the curtains.
From what I can tell, all the characters in this show live in the same building, which they never leave. Well, one thing about separating from your husband to go live across the hall is that HE CAN SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW.
QUE UN CONCEPTO.
3. The same rinky-dinky organ music plays every time something sexual happens.
It is the musical equivalent to being elbowed in the ribs, but it’s actually kind of endearing.
4. Patricia and Lucia both have jerk daughters.
Why can’t you let your mom be happy?
I cannot for the life of me figure out the daughters’ names, but I know that I hate them.
4. They do a lot of processing.
Without spoiling too much, Lucia and Patricia have to deal with exes, the judgment of their children and society at large, and their own insecurities. But, insufficient as my Spanish might be, I do hear them throw the word “sentimientos” around a lot. And as long, as Feelings talks are happening, there is hope for any relationship.
So, the sets are cheap, the costumes are polyester, and the storyline is one we’ve all seen before. Why then the interest? Two reasons: the first is that increased lesbian visibility on Mexican TV is still a big deal, and deserves our support and recognition. And the second is that it passes the butterfly test. You know, that feeling when your stomach clenches and your heart skips and you feel your entire existence suddenly centered around whether or not two women kiss. It’s that feeling that has led countless lesbians to scour the internet for grainy telenovela footage, to roam trackless expanses of YouTube without subtitles or a map, and it’s probably the feeling that brought you to this website for the first time. So follow those butterflies, ladies, and let’s all brush up on our Spanish.