“Make Me a Supermodel” 2.1 mini-cap: Boxed in

 
 

In last night’s Season 2 premiere of Bravo’s Make Me a Supermodel , we met this year’s hotley crew of model wannabes. Super.

Among the pouty, fresh faces is CJ Kirkham, an 18-year-old private investigator who loves motorcycles, rock climbing, soccer and her live-in boyfriend — she’s also bisexual, so maybe not necessarily in that order.

The first challenge of the season pairs up the models and suspends each duo inside a Plexiglas box while it dangles 30 or 40 feet in the air, where they’re told to strike non-porny, yet intimate poses with each other. Jordan, a self-described “lone wolf,” chooses CJ as her box mate and up they go.

CJ says, “I’m bisexual. I find women to be physically attractive.” Oh really? Instead of taking advantage of being in a confined space with a hot girl and explicit instructions to get sexy with her, CJ looks like her only concern is Jordan’s bean burrito lunch.

Despite her motorcycle-riding, rock-climbing, soccer-playing street creds, I’m not sure CJ is truly bisexual or just playing the showmosexual card for the cameras.

Meanwhile, hyper-hetero Branden is paired with super gay, androgynous, Chris. I fully expected Branden to wig out at the prospect of being touchy with Chris, but instead of being a dick in a box, he wasn’t.

Later, the kids do their best My Pretty Pony runway strut for the judges: Designer Catherine Malandrino, photographer and modeling consultant, Marlon, iconoclastic lesbian model Jenny Shimizu and Sgt. Pepper’s Clockwork Orange photographer, Perou.

“I really don’t have style at all. I wear jeans, and a black T-shirt, and my Converse,” CJ reports in her interview video. Holla. If Jenny can get away with it, why not you? Here’s CJ in something a little less Shane.

In the end, CJ lives to strut another day when the panel sends a lumbering, lantern-jawed guy named Ken packing, but not before Jenny comments on his “amazing ass.” With glutes like a bowling ball, I noticed Ken’s butt, too. According to CJ’s definition, maybe Jenny and I are also bi. Nah.

Not likely next week: In an awkward moment when pasts collide, Jenny runs into both Madonna and Angelina in the cheese aisle at Balducci’s.

 
 

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