He tries to retaliate by using Bo’s power against her, but it’s quickly thwarted with a little bait and switch. Massimo ends up vacu-sucking his own mom, which – hello, symbolism. But unlike Bo, he has never learned how to stop. Remember when Bo couldn’t do that and Lauren helped her learn to curb her appetite? Oh, the Season 1 memories.
Bo gives him a choice, a life for a life to save his mom. She takes his, to give to her. But, of course, there is that damn twig. But, don’t worry, Lauren has learned a lot more than just picking locks and stealing panties from Kenzi. She swipes what looks like a really juicy bud from Massimo’s pocket and thus ends his reign of tantrums.
Bo smacks the dreadful Druid around for good measure. Once for hurting Lauren, that once each for killing Rainer and Hale and then the death blow comes for breaking Kenzi’s heart. So, does that mean the power of the Una Mens is just gone now? Guess the great and powerful Origin Seed turned out to be really just an insignificant little speck after all.
And while I’m complaining about stuff, I still don’t understand what was with all the subterfuge about Rainer. Was he Tamsin’s boss? Should he have had fangs and horns? Was it all just a red herring to try to make him seem more interesting than he really was? And, I mean it, what the hell happened to Crystal? Guess some mysteries will just never be answered.
Back at the Gates of Hel, Dyson, Tamsin and Trick are fighting off the army of darkness when Kenzi walks in. More accurately, she sashays in. Just because the world is about to end, doesn’t mean a girl can’t look fabulous. See, earlier our littlest shadowcaster figured out the prophecy on her own. It will take Bo’s heart to close the portal. And Kenzi, Kenzi is her heart. Destiny can be a real bitch.
But for now, at least, Bo’s heart is all about Lauren. Yes, even as the armies of the underworld threaten our very existence, two gay ladies can find time to process relationship. Lauren notices that Bo is wearing her Magical Vagina Necklace, and Bo says she loves it. I expect to see these on Etsy immediately.
They catch up. Rainer is dead. Bo is still a champion. Lauren can turn the Fae mortal with her Magical Vagina. Yes, yes, these are all fact. But ladies, tell me the important stuff. Tell me about your BIG GAY FEELINGS? Bo jokes that Lauren really is dark, but she replies in the most Tara Maclay way possible: “I’m yours.” Where is an extra flamey candle when you need one?
Sadly, Bo has to run off to save the world and shit. Lauren says she’s going to stick around and fulfill her Hippocratic Oath for Evony instead. Bo says she gets it, but mostly the writers just didn’t want to have figure out a way to fit Lauren into the big battle scene for whatever reason. Bo turns to leave, but then rushes back. The hero never leaves without a kiss. Those are just the rules.