“Lost Girl” Recap (4.13): The heart is a lonely hunter

 
 

Dyson is impressed by the move, even if he’s doubtful it’ll hold up in court. And he realizes that all this time he has been barking up the wrong tree. (Hey, I couldn’t resist.) He was looking for a King, when what he should have been serving a Queen. So he pledges his fealty to Bo right then and there. Does he need to unpledge himself from the Blood King first? And, um, did he pledge his body to Trick, too? Kinky.

Dyson tells Bo he loves her. Geez, now even I’m starting to feel a little bad for this guy. She likes you, buddy, but doesn’t like you like you–you know? Tamsin walks in on the scene and interrupts the not-quite lovefest. Poor, Valkyrie. I know you thought you might have a thing with the wolf, but that dog won’t hunt. (Again, couldn’t help myself.)

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Rosette’s books lead them back to the horse whisperer cult’s headquarters. It looks a little different, what with the glowing portal to Hel breaking up the room’s flow. Because they never enter into these things with a plan, Bo and Dyson stand around until something emerges from its depths.

They don’t have to wait long until the dead soldier revenants start pouring out. Bo’s Valkusnack seems to have left her a little peckish, because she supersucks the soldiers for a main course.

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But her triple-meal deal brings out the Succu-Hulk in her again. The blue eyes and voice of doom are back, as is the apocalyptic bluster. Queen. Armies. Blood. Succu-Hulk SMASH. Bo can’t stop herself, and asks Dyson to do something. His something is, of course, a make-out session. It works, but only because of his seriously stale moves. See, you really can’t teach an old dog new tricks. (I really, really can’t stop at this point.)

Evony has gone to see Trick, and the world’s most uncomfortable flirting ensues. Why not get one more insane potential pairing into Lost Girl: The Crackship Season? Trick tells Evony he isn’t into “stone-cold bitches.” But the Morrigan is a stealth feminist and informs him that “bitch” is just a term men use when threatened by powerful women. Right on, sisterfire. Later we can all burn bras together. Still, neither Trick nor Evony want to be enslaved by Evil Mr. Ed, so they join forces and decide to fight together against the Pyrippus.

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Bo and Dyson stagger up after beating back the few revenants. But more, millions and millions more, are coming. Bo forgets that Dyson isn’t a lesbian for a minute and wants to process their kiss. But he tells her to go save his bro Lauren. Say what you will about the guy, but right now he really is a doctor’s best friend. Bo tells him to hold back the dead army, and keep Kenzi safe. Oh dear. We all know only one of those tasks is not going to get completed.

Before going to save her lady, Bo makes a quick pit stop to accessorize. She pauses to put on Lauren’s gift. It’s the necklace she found hidden in Lauren’s apartment. The necklace that looks an awful lot like, OK–I’m just going to say it, it looks like a vagina. Oh my freaking God, Lauren gave Bo a necklace of her Magical Vagina.

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I mean, come on. Admit it. It looks a little like ladybits.

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Right, so Tamsin and Kenzi walk up and are like “Suffering Sappho, is that from the Georgia O’Keeffe Collection?” But in their heads. Kenzi walks up wordlessly and gives Bo a hug. If you can’t forgive your friends at the end of the world, when can you?

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