Speaking of that Masshole, he is using all the new powers of the Fae he has inherited to kick some Succubus ass. I know he has all this Una power (plus that pesky Twig of Zamora), but this is a really uninspired fight. He throws her into a stained-glass window. He hits her with a chair. He picks her up like Hulk Hogan. I’ve seen more believable fights at Wrestlemania.
Trick and Rainer stumble up and gramps realizes Massimo ate the magic bean. Trick is going fight him, but Rainer stops him saying that Bo will need him. He offers himself up instead. Doesn’t he have the gift of foresight? Because Rainer comes at him with the weakest attack I’ve ever seen. And just like that the Druid solves our Rainer problem. So long, Wanderer. We will really, really not miss you. What? Just being honest.
Bo wakes up from a marriage even shorter than Britney Spears’ Vegas wedding to find Tamsin watching over her. Oh, how they love to tease poor Team Valkubus. A beat-up Bo laments all the things she has lost – Hale, Rainer, her common sense. And then Tamsin becomes a substitute for all of fandom as she levels a steely glare at Bo and says: “Why don’t you suck it up and get your shit together.” Slow clap. SLOW CLAP FOREVER.
Oh, Tam-Tam, did you ever know that you’re my hero? And everything I would like to be? We need to take a moment to appreciate how thoroughly and seamlessly Rachel Skarsten has become an integral part of this show. It’s not easy to join a show two seasons in, but Rachel has done it effortlessly and along the way become an essential part of this ensemble.
But back to the goading. It does its job and gets the Succubus to do what she does. So she takes a little Tami-snack for the road.
Afterward, Bo tells Tamsin that she tastes “different, happy.” Just then the supposed reason for her happiness runs in and gives Bo a big hug. This show is like the musical chairs of love triangles. Just keep running until the music stops, people!
Kenzi is with him as well and she shares an awkward hello with Bo. Afterward, Tamsin–who has become the high priestess of getting real–tells Kenzi she needs to forgive Bo. After all, they have both lost someone with whom they had questionable chemistry. Sorry, too soon?
Instead of dealing with the elephant in the room, Kenzi grabs one of Rosette’s books to read up on the pending apocalypse. Oh, that old thing. One passage depicts a fire sale at IKEA, or some other hellish landscape. Kenz asks Tami to translate a line, which reads “Daughter. Heart.” So, perhaps the daughter’s heart will close the gates of hell? Great, now we’re going to have to find that dude from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom who rips the beating hearts out of human sacrifices. I bet he charges overtime for last-minute bookings.
Kenzi tells Tamsin they should hold off on reserving Mr. Heart Ripper, and then secretly rips out the page. Oh, Lil Mama, what are you up to? I’m sure we’ll find out later. But for now everyone is focused on saving Lauren, which is kind of nice. Save the girl, screw the world. But before they go, Bo rips up her Dark contract for good measure. Welcome back, Unaligned Succubus. We missed you so.