“Lost Girl” Recap (4.12): Mother, may I sleep with danger?

 
 

Lauren finally finds what she’s looking for: Intel on Rainer a.k.a. The Asshole. Unlike Game of Thrones Ken Doll, the Rainer in the history books is a fanged tooth, horned demon beast of evil pure. After a thousand years, he will be unbound to bring about hell on earth and betray the Fae. So, in other words, he’s totally good boyfriend material for Bo.

Lauren is smugly all, “I knew it!” I mean, we all imagine our ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend is a horned demon bent on bringing about the apocalypse, but how many times is it actually true? But then she overhears Evony talking to someone about how life would be easier if the Succubus was dead. So she gathers up all her research and runs off to protect her. See, Bo, you don’t need any dumb knight when you have a Dr. Hotpants on your side.

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Though she leaves in such a rush she doesn’t see who Evony was talking with – namely Trick. Finally, I’m starting to understand why his name is Trick. He’ll trick you into thinking he is a good guy when really he’s just an old man filled with secrets and lies.

Bo goes back to Rainer to tell him he’s dying, but he’s more interested in Rosette who used to fight by his side on the battlefield. They’re reunited and for a moment I think they’ll kiss. Seriously, if everyone who looked like they were going to kiss actually kissed, this show would be nothing but kissing. I mean, it comes close already, but… Anyway, he tells Bo she was his best lieutenant and so Bo should totally trust her because he trusts her and we all trust him, right? Right? Right.

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Tamsin finds the prophecy about Rainer dying, too. See, everyone is excited about this thing. Doccubus fans, Valkubus fans. BoNer truly is the true one ship to unite us all. I feel like we should start a fellowship and then they will make four movies about us and years later tack on three prequels which should really only be one film but get stretched out into needless sequels because Peter Jackson needs a new house in Ibiza or something.

Anyway. Where were we? Oh, yes, more prophecies. Rainer is gonna die. Bo wants him not to die. They need to find a way to break the curse. Rosette suggests they use something Bo and Rainer shared. Ew, not that. Bo pulls out the Tarot card. Wasn’t that thing nearly destroyed? And then used as a ticket? Where’d she get a new one?

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Bo decides to burn it and when she does the MMXV symbols appear again. 2015? 8:15? Cartography coordinates? That last idea comes from Lauren, who saunters in with her research in tow. She tells Bo they need to talk. Forget “It’s Complicated,” Facebook needs to make a status that says “We Need To Talk,” just for them.

Lauren shows her the passage she found on “The Wanderer.” He looks, well, he looks like Rainer with horns and an insane set of chompers.

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Bo doesn’t want to believe it because, really, who wants to believe her boyfriend has such bad teeth? So, don’t believe Lauren who you’ve known intimately for years and has saved your life and your friends’ lives, but do believe Rosette who you just met five minutes ago and is spouting crazy prophecies out of nowhere? OK, got it. Lauren explains to a doubtful Bo that the ink isn’t dry in the books because Rainer has just been rewritten into history by returning. Makes perfect sense.

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