For whatever reason, Tamsin and Acacia are still wandering around the valley of the burnt-out cars. Tam-Tam tells her she knows she is the one who sent the Revenant because she wanted to plant the Wanderer Tarot in order to get the team to suit up and take on Rainer. As far as plans on Lost Girl go, I guess it’s not the absolute worst.
Tamsin says if the Wanderer is bad, she’ll be the first to take him out, but she wants to do things right this time. Acacia sarcastically asks her if that includes settling down with a nice wolf and squeeze out some puppies. It’s a weird thing to say, but will all make sense about 5 minutes from now. Sort of. And then she tells her to look out for Massimo because he is planning something “big.” Oh, oh, have we mentioned that he is not dead? Marie Laveau isn’t the only thing Lost Girl has in common with American Horror Story: Coven this season. There’s also this little business of the dead stubbornly refusing to stay dead.
Tam returns to Bo’s place–wait, is she living there now? Bo is pacing and tells her she knows the Rainer stuff is making her seem cray-cray. But she can’t ignore how she feels. She tells Tamsin, “Sometimes you just have to go for it, right?” And a million Valkubus hearts wait with gossamer wings to take flight. It’s not even my ship and I’m all, “KISS HER, YOU FOOL.”
Alas, Tam-Tam gets bookblocked. Who knew that was a thing? See, this is why so many people have switched to e-readers. A book flies open and Rainer’s handsome mug appears on one of the pages. Tami asks who the historical hottie is. Bo is like, duh, he’s your boss a.k.a. He Who Wanders a.k.a. The Wanderer a.k.a. Your Boss. But the problem is, he isn’t. Should we just declare this whole thing a big whoopsie-daisie and start over?
Another person wishing he could hit the restart button is Hale. He’s still holding the unaccepted ring…shirtless. It never hurts to try to sell the merchandise one last time. I didn’t mean that as final as it sounded. Sniffle. OK, getting ahead of myself.
Kenzi tells him she wants to slow things down. They have all the time in the world, after all. Ah! See, right there. That’s as bad a saying as, “I’ll be back,” in a horror movie. Though, they must have worked something out because a sans pantaloons Kenz runs downstairs to show off the ring to Bo. She promptly runs off to get snacks and wine and candy to celebrate.
Dyson is still on the same barstool. And then Tamsin walks in and joins him. Like, climb on top of him and start making out joins him. Is this the wolf, puppies and picket fence Acacia was referring too? I feel like there’s a board in the writers’ room where they throw darts at character names and the first two they land on will be forced to make out in the next episode.
It’s really too much for my little, tiny, minuscule recapper brain to process. Lost Girl: The Crackship season has gone from sexy to funny to crazy to OMFGWTFLOLWUT and whatever I can throw in there.