In the slums of
Toronto Faeville, two Valkyries and a Succubus go to search for answers where the Cult of the Dead hang out. Naturally, they run into another dead. But just as Bo is about to dispatch the Revenant, Dyson busts in and takes over the decapitation. Any job a woman can do, a man can take over and do for her–and make a dollar to the 77-cents a woman would make doing the same job.
Dyson has come, despite the Great Exes Cold War Bo has going on, because “my partner called.” Tam-Tam saves the day and allows Acacia and Bo to go in to see some guy named Harvey. Harvey’s skill is drinking the blood out of dead people’s severed heads and knowing who commands them. Oh, I’m sorry, was I supposed to sugar-coat that?
After some disgusting blood swilling and more disgusting sexual innuendo, Harvey tells them Acacia sent the zombie-gram. Acacia says she may have killed him, but she didn’t reanimate him. But Bo is still suspicious. So no better way to settle an argument than with fisticuffs. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say fisticuffs? I meant, “CATFIGHT!”
Harvey tapes it because of course he tapes it. I know it’s meant to be funny and a riff on the girl fights of sexploitation movies, but can a Valkyrie and a Succubus please have a better fight scene that involves less hugging and more socking in the face?
In another kind of fight across town, Kenzi is still mad at her family and Hale for conspiring for the unannounced visit. Mama K tries to make it all better with a beloved family heirloom. But earrings cannot solve deep-seeded family resentments caused by years of neglect, no matter what those jewelry commercials say. Mama K apologies profusely, and swears she has kicked her bastard boyfriend out, which finally warrants a hug. So for those keeping score – emotional growth: 1, bling: 0.
Back in skids row, Acacia is grilling Tamsin on The Wanderer’s so-called emotional growth. Did he really just hop off the Death Train and start playing house with Bo? Yeah, I know, no one can believe it, lady. But she is even more concerned for Tami, because now that her memories are coming back she recalls the little matter of her not taking Rainer’s body from the battlefield to Valhalla. And no amount of jewelry or emotional growth can earn a hug for that.
The motely grew go to see someone named Laveau. But she’s not Angela Bassett and Ryan Murphy hasn’t had a chance to ruin her character. This voodoo queen of Fae Orleans wakes up the dead, all the dead, for their troubles.
Acacia’s new addition promptly goes homicidal. So much for Mossimo (Massimo? I don’t know how to spell any of these damn Lost Girl names.) building her a new one from scratch. Laveau has sent the undead Revenants to collect the Demon Seed to fight the Devil’s Horse, the Pyrippus. If you told me in college I’d ever type that sentence in a professional setting, I’d smack your mama. Dyson promptly smacks Laveau unconscious for possibly different reasons.
At an awkward family dinner, Mama K is embarrassing Kenzi and tells Hale she’ll make him a good wife. Kenzi is like, “Mom, OMG.” And Hale is like, “Future mother-in-law, OMG.” Because, indeed, this whole reunion was a ruse of sorts to pop The Question. No, not the question about life, the universe and everything. (We all know the answer to that is 42.) But the other one involving rings and “I dos.” Also, Hale, I love you, but you do not start a marriage proposal by saying, “As good a time as any, I guess.” (Yeah, I know, I’m going to feel bad about chastising him later.)
Fine, OK. It’s a lovely and heartfelt moment, until Dimitri’s cellphone rings. It’s Kenzi’s stepdad asking when Hale will wire the money. So, um, busted. They’re not broken up. In fact, they’re already scamming Hale. And the proposal is pretty much over. So much for the afterglow.