“Lost Girl” Recap (4.09): Nothing to crow about

 
 

Tamsin and Kenzi continue to look for the great and powerful Trick’s blood. That is only slightly less gross than it sounds. Tamsin finds a loose floorboard and inside there’s a delicious tomato bacon box. OK, fine, it’s an Ancient Japanese Secret box. Tamsin is pretty sure this is the tamatebako of folklore, but they need to know the combination to unfold it and uncover its secrets.

So they decide to do the single most irresponsible and frightening thing they’ve ever done and try to open the box. Oh, sweeties, this is Lost Girl–you have way too much competition for the “most irresponsible and frightening” title.

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Back in hell, Bo continues her 501 blues (Get it? Levi’s?) with the Riddler. She guesses the first one right. (Fog.) And comes back with a mind-bender of her own. Hey, look, I get it–we take our relationship advice wherever we can get it. But disguising your unanswerable love question in the form of a life-or-death riddle is kind of cheating, no?

She boils the triangle down to this: Lauren is brilliant and short. Dyson is strong and long. The Leviathan is all, “Come on. Do I look like Dr. Phil? Go see a therapist like everyone else.” First she suggests the man. Because he will live longer. Then she suggests the woman. Because Bo loves her and her humanity. But then she settles on the man. Because strength. But Bo says she’s wrong and Doccubus shippers everywhere have a moment of pure happiness. Of course, then she admits there is no right answer because not choosing between two lovers is totally Bo’s thing.

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Yeah, pretty much that’s the face of fandom. I mean, we all knew we’d never know, but still–dude, really?

The Leviathan sends Bo back up, but chuckles that she’ll see her again because someone she loves very much will soon be dead. Of course she doesn’t say who, so now it’s time to stress eat and worry until we find out.

Bo gets sent back up and summarily dispatches of the Crows. Damn handy having all of these graves to push people into. And then with only Hugin, Munin and Mrs. Hugin left to contend with Bo gets some reinforcements in the form of Dyson and Lauren.

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They offer to do all kinds of magnificently horrible things to Heckle and Jeckle. But in the end Bo strikes a simple deal with them to get her back on The Wanderers train. Lauren’s like, “You can’t just leave your valiant rescuers like this.” And Dyson is all, “We’re your weird, dysfunctional family you try to avoid talking about religion and politics with during Thanksgiving dinner.”

But Bo says she won’t let them risk their lives for her (um, since when?) And then blows a kiss for her “lover.” Lauren looks over and says, “You know that kiss was for me, right?” Keep that up, lady, and we’ll have to rename you Dr. Cockypants. OK, so I just read that out loud to myself and that did not come out right. OR DID IT?

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Trick is still getting severe nosebleeds from the truth. Doa Ming asks what the worst thing he’s ever done was and gets maniacal laughter in return. Mean Trick is back and he’s talking about power and erasing people from history. Like he erased Rainer from history. You see, the reason he hasn’t been helping is because he is the reason all of this is happening. Whoopsie.

So, fine, he’s not going to win a Grandpa of the Year award anytime soon. But it was still fun to see layers of emotions that wash over Richard Howland’s face in the span of less than 30 seconds.

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Kenzi and Tamsin are unfolding multiple layers themselves with the tomato-bacon box. And after some horns and sirens and spikes, they finally get to its center. Inside they find vials of blood. So, naturally, it’s time to draw pictures of dicks into Trick’s book. Or, you know, something slightly more mature. What they settle on is a big blood blob. Well, if a toilet can be art, why not this?

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Still nothing happens after Kenzi’s expert finger painting. So Tamsin grabs the book and happens to smudge the blood. And then the book latches on to her. Or more like she can’t unlatch from the book. I know sometimes people say a book is so good they can’t put it down, but this is ridiculous.

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