“Lost Girl” recap (4.07): Draw me like one of your French girls

Legend has it the gods used to wrap the Red String of Fate around the ankles of those destined to meet regardless of time, place and circumstance. They will be using it to bind Bo, Dyson and the Oracle while Lauren stays put as the constant. Aw, that’s kind of sweet. Bo will go into Dyson’s memories, but her subconscious will remain here so his past will mix with her present. Translation: Things are about to get freaky-deaky. Also, the Oracle gives her a spoiler alert that when she makes an appearance Bo will have to untie the string and get out or risk going permanently loco inside Dyson’s mind. That was a lot of exposition, but dude do we ever need it because down the rabbit hole we go.

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Lauren asks Bo one last time if she is sure she wants to do this (Read: Is he worth it?) and Bo says she’d do it for Lauren, too (Read: I’m not picking favorites.)

In a cozy Una Mens dungeon across town, Dyson is getting his last sponge bath. I guess it makes sense cleaning a man on Death Row. I mean, your mama always tells you to put on clean underwear just in case. But these cleaning monks look oddly familiar. Yep, it’s Kenzi and Trick helping Dyson get rid of that not-so-fresh feeling and trying the Red String of Fate around his ankle.

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With the bond made, it’s time to allons-y! p.s. You might want to bust out the French/English dictionary because things are about to get Francofabulous up in this joint. And with a whoosh, Bo wakes up in the sepia-toned 19th Century, naked, in bed, with two sisters. Oh, Dyson, you truly are a dirty, dirty dog.

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Holy body swap, Batman! So Bo is Dyson and Dyson is being chased by the farmer whose daughters he just defiled. They corner her/him and all seems grim until a short fellow brandishing a bow staff comes to the rescue offering sanctuary. Hi there, Ninja Trick. Love the robe.

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Bo/Dyson wonders aloud if the sanctuary serves ale which is a neat little bit of foreshadowing for the Dal. Trick then tells Bo/Dyson that he can be more than just a thief and philanderer; he can be a powerful force of good. Trick tells Bo/Dyson about the ancient Hell Shoes being sought after by all the Fae biggies including “The One Who Wanders.” The legend has it wars have been waged over them, but they can only be worn by a worthy hero. Trick wants him to intercept the shoes, which have been discovered by some Spanish Prince. Oh, and he’s not “Trick” until just then, because Bo/Dyson gives him that nickname. Don’t you just love it when Lost Girl finally peels back another layer of the onion?

Back in the present, Lauren is monitoring Bo, who begins muttering key phrases.

Bo: Shoes. Milkmaids. Boobs. Hell Shoes. Bow staff. Trick. He Who Wanders. Hell Score. BOOBS.

Ah, but of course – boobs. It’s good to know Bo/Dyson/this show has it’s priorities straight. Lauren tries to get more coherent information from Bo about the Wanderer, but boobs it is.

Back in Dyson’s memories, Bo wanders herself into the heavenly Cabaret du Ciel and is greeted by a Kenzi-shaped angel/barmaid. Gosh, Dyson’s memories just keep getting better and better. Angel Kenzi tells Bo/Dyson all about the Prince/Vex who has arrived to seek an audience with the evening’s main attraction, the enchanting chanteuse Flora Blooms.

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I swear, it’s like they’re competing to get into Boobs O’Clock now.

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