“Lost Girl” recap (4.05): Put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it

 
 

Over at Fight Club, Kenzi is psyching up Tam-Tam and telling her to protect her face. Gotta keep that money maker pretty. Tamsin wins the coin toss and gets to choose the mode of combat. She blurts, “I just want to dance!” And just like that we’re in an episode of So You Think You Can Dance to the Death. I am not going to lie, I’d totally watch that show.

Dance Dance Deatholution begins and Tamsin–oh honey. Tamsin is an adorable spaz. It’s all arms and a little shoulder and just not really twerking. I love it, don’t get me wrong. You should see me try to do Just Dance on Wii. I look like a defective robot being chased by bees.

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Kenz comes in to help, and they do a little number they obviously whipped up some bored Friday night at the Suck Shack. Note to the Producers: I want all the deleted scenes from this dance sequence on the Season 4 DVD. I would pay a million-billion-jillion dollars for it, honest. You take personal checks, right?

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Of course her challenger pulls out some mad crazy moves. Like flips and pops and locks and spins and shit I don’t even know the names for. Kenzi knows her girl has been out danced, so she tells her to go a little Valkyrie on her to bust her rhythm. But apparently being a little Valkyrie is like being a little pregnant – not a thing. So her challenger falls on her neck and Tamsin goes home with Bruce as her door prize.

Vex has finished his potion. His plan is to lop off his own poisoned right hand. But, unlike all of the other Mesmers before him who were hunted to extinction and slowly starved to death after their right hands were cut off, he plans to mesmerize another day by transferring his power to his left hand. Bo tries to stop him, but can’t. Still, she doesn’t exactly come away empty handed.

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Bo returns to the Morrigan, with Vex’s liberated appendage and the new-found knowledge that it wasn’t him who pledged her to the Dark. They ask the Morrigan’s archivist for the information. He basically scalps himself (side note: ew) to find her pledge. I’ve heard of living history, but this is ridiculous. The signatures show Bo signed up for the Dark thanks to her sponsor, Rainer. So, finally The Wanderer has a name.

Of course, we still don’t really know who he is or more importantly where he is. And if Bo is going to ever revoke her Club Dark membership she’ll need to track him down. But things aren’t any less complicated over at Club Light. Trick is ready to go all Norman Bates on the Una Mens who he believes know who he really is. But instead they appoint him acting Ash. Wait, hold up, aren’t the Una Mens supposed to be all knowing or something. How do they not know he’s the Blood King?

Lauren shows up as Bo and the Morrigan are finishing their less-than-pleasantries. Evony says she has new things to “play” with, meaning our good doctor. Bo still hasn’t caught on, so she offers to whisk Lauren back to her old place with a long tandem soak in a claw-foot tub as added incentive.

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But tempting as the offer is, Lauren says she can’t go back. The Light never looked for her when the Una Mens came to town, but the Dark sought her out. OK, to be fair, Dyson is looking for you now and the Dark had you spy banged. So, not really a terrific track record on either side really. Speaking of spy banging, where the hell is Crystal?

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