Of course then the moment gets ruined because Lauren hasn’t been paying her electrical bill. Or, more likely, a supernatural gargoyle statue is stalking Bo and flickering the lights to get close enough to take a chunk out of her arm. You know, the usual. Did anyone have a Doctor Who flashback to the Weeping Angels just then? I may or may not have hidden behind a pillow out of residual fear of them.
Kenzi arrives in time to bind Bo’s wounds. She comes clean (get it, drug analogy) about how much she owes Mossimo and has been stealing from Trick and Hale to pay him and also, oops, she kissed Dyson but actually only wants to kiss Hale. Kenzi did it because she was tired of being helpless and not able. And, yes, she had a wicked case of separation anxiety when Bo left. Poor lamb, alone in the world.
Bo is a little less sympathetic to her existential loneliness, but their conversation gets interrupted by Dyson who has lost Tamsin. Bo storms off to find Tamsin by herself with a pointed jab at Kenzi about her bestiality. Hey, in her defense, when they made out neither one remembered Bo ever even existed. So cut a poor tiny human girl some slack.
Tamsin has made it back at the Suck Shack, but not for long. She answers the door to find Mossimo grinning on the other side filled with stories about how they were BFFs and look at this selfie we took together. He lures her away and then ties her to a chair, like all besties do. He’s after her hair, because it’s indestructible and shiny and imbued with special powers or something. Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask her about her conditioner?
In the dingy utility room of horrors, Lauren has diagnosed the elder Fae with a nasty case of being a pervert and feeding off his family members. Treatment: Lay off the incest. Lauren declares the case child’s play and gets a little incensed at how much it is beneath her abilities. She lays down the law telling her captors she’ll treat the disgusting elder, but only if they let Crystal go and get out of the nickel handcuffs which are sending her into anaphylactic shock.
Oh, also, did she mention she already freed herself from her stupid handcuffs because Kenzi taught her how to pick a lock? Suck it, captors.
I’m not going to lie, I think I want indignant Lauren to stick around for a while because, you know, hot. She calls Hale out, because she’s pretty sure it’s Hale and the Light Fae putting her through these ridiculous tests. The door slowly opens revealing their captor. And, wouldn’t ya know, it’s not Hale. A round at the Dal says it’s her brother.
But we’ll find out if I have a big bar tab to pay later. Because Bo bursts into Mossimo’s lair (really, it’s the only appropriate way to describe it) all, “Nobody puts Baby Valkyrie in a corner, and gives her a bad haircut.” Mossimo turns the tables on her – a little too easily, I might add – but there’s no need to worry because the Harbinger of Death has arrived.
Reborn Valkyrie’s got her groove back, y’all. Also, wings.