Elsewhere in a field on the back of a pick-up, Tamsin and Acacia are catching up and drinking beers. I think I could watch a whole episode of just them doing that. Shooting the shit about the War of 1812 and Tecumseh, you know – girl talk. Well, girl talk for fierce female warrior Valkyries (I’m assuming Acacia is also a Valkyrie, right?).
But then Acacia breaks down the pleasantries and asks how Tamsin plans to get out of the serious trouble she is in. That serious trouble being failing to deliver the unaligned succubus to “him.” Tamsin says she’ll offer a trade, but they both know “he” doesn’t want anyone more than Bo. OK, so this guy is either a) Bo’s father or b) The fire-breathing Pegasus Trick had a picture of or c) Odin the Wanderer, a powerful Norse god or d) some combination of the three.
Tamsin is clearly in a pickle here, made even picklier because Bo is stronger now on account of successfully passing through Fae puberty. Acacia has something to help with that, kind of like a reverse Fae Pro-Active. It’s Rune Glass and Tamsin must put in one hair of someone Bo loves, two of someone Bo trusts and three of Bo’s own hairs in it and then the Druid will do the rest, whatever “the rest” is.
At camp an oblivious Bo is trying to lead an apathetic group in team-building exercises. Honey, these are juvenile delinquents, whatever you do don’t do a trust fall. I repeat, these kids are the very opposite of trustworthy. But of course, Bo has them do a trust fall. She asks Kenzi to catch her and, come on, we all know where this is going.
Bo drops like a stone and then Kenzi describes it as “the funniest shit in the history of both funny and shit.” See, isn’t undercover Kenzi the best? Bo takes her aside and complains within earshot of the group about her behavior and needing to earn their respect. Kenzi wisely tells her to chill, because she is now bigger than the dude in the beret who designs T-shirts for angry youth in their eyes.
In the Hair Club for Valkyrie, Tamsin is sneaking into Dyson’s apartment to steal some of his fur. I’m sure he keeps one of those pet rollers around the house. She finds a comb and I watch very carefully to see if she pulls one or two hairs out of it. I think it’s two, but it’s open to interpretation. She also pulls a smiling picture of Bo out of the same drawer, and that’s less open for interpretation.
Actually, I was wrong. Because Tamsin interprets the photo in her own way, which is to have a crisis of conscience. So she throws away the Rune Glass bottle in Dyson’s trash. And while I applaud her actions, there’s no way this can end well for all parties involved. I feel I should launch a Let Tamsin Live campaign immediately. We want more Valkyrie in the fourth season.
Proving my point, when next we see Tamsin she’s being thrown against a brick wall by her throat by a very pissed Acacia. Tamsin says she won’t turn in the “unaligned succubus bitch” and also her name is Bo and also “bitch” is a highly charged pejorative term used to denigrate women’s worth. So cut that out, bitch.
But Acacia isn’t worried about the feminist struggle, she just wants to keep from being the star of the newest reality series Dead: The Bounty Hunter. She confesses to Tamsin that she guaranteed she could get her to finish the job. So if Tamsin doesn’t deliver, she will. Then she storms off. I wonder if we’ve seen the last of her, or she’ll be replaced by Lena Headey in future episodes.
Dyson shows up and tells the campers he’s going to lock them in for their own good. But not before he and Kenzi have a prolonged wolves rule/drool convo that spurs the juvies to be this week’s stand in for fandom and exclaim, “Enough with the weird wolf talk.” Afterward Kenzi breaks them out with one of the abundant stolen credit cards (no one checks these kids personal belongings before they check in?) and they go running off in separate directions to save themselves. Has no one ever watched Scooby-Doo? This is a terrible plan.