“Lost Girl” recap (3.09): A girl walks into a Dawning

Bo has been able to control her feeds and not kill her human snacks for years now. I really hope this isn’t some crazy fad diet. This is no time to try the Master Cleanse, honey. Nosh a little. It would be such a shame to let such a quality meat tray go to waste.

Back at the Succubus Shack, Bo is still ranting about Stella’s shady meal plan. But Kenzi is starting to worry. She joins in solidarity with all the Crazy Cat Ladies of the Internet and asks the unaskable questions: “What happens to cats when their owners die?”

But she quickly snaps herself out of her own funk, promises Bo mojitos at the end of her Dawning, even if she comes out of it with horns. Heck, even if she comes out of it with a dong. This earns her a well-earned punch in the arm from Bo and a definitive “No dong” declaration. Damn right, no dong. I’m going to get that printed on T-shirts and sell them outside of Tegan & Sara concerts. You know those puppies would sell like super gay hotcakes.

Finally, it’s time to get this party started. Everyone meets for this most sacred of ceremonies at the Dal, which makes me think there might be a lot of undiagnosed alcoholism in the Fae world. Kenzi is there, much to Stella’s chagrin. Stella’s all like, didn’t you see the “No Humans Allowed” sign I posted over the door. And Kenzi is all like, don’t worry, toots, I won’t live tweet it. Though, you know she secretly Instagramed the hors d’oeuvres because if we don’t share photos of our food how will people know we exist? Then Stella leans over and whispers the answer to the earlier cat/owner question in her ear. From the look on Kenzi’s face, not even a million cute cat gifs can make things better.

Bo is making one last desperate attempt to reach Lo (Really, are we still trying to make that happen? It’s like fetch, it’s never going to happen.) But then Lauren walks in and says she’s been ignoring her for science, I mean love. Bo says it’s OK. Lauren says it’s not. Then grandpa docc-block strides in and whisks her away to draw on her forehead. No, really.

Granddaughter thanks grandfather, not for the finger painting, but for always being there for her. True, Trick has always been there to keep things from Bo – like her true identity or her mother’s identity or to immediately identify when she is starting the Dawning – I could go on. But they hug it out anyway because they’re not called horrible family secrets for nothing.

And so it begins. Stella says she can pick a weapon to take with her, but only if she picks a side first. Bo says she likes the ring of “The Unaligned Succubus” and declines. Then Dyson strides up and offers himself as “Hand.” I already don’t like the sound of that. No hands, no dongs, no appendages of any kind around Bo, buster. But then of all people Lauren says she should accept. Though you can see where she’s coming from – anything that will help bring Bo back to her in one piece sounds pretty OK at this point. And then they kiss, not goodbye but for luck.

It’s lovely, just lovely. But then Dyson’s big head ruins everything. And it was just last week when we were all fretting/fawning over Copubus/Valkybus/Tamsin-is-hottiebus. Yeah, we’ve got bigger fish to fry now. Remember, the whole enemy of my enemy is my friend thing? Applies here, too. And, just like the Dawning, this enemy’s name also starts with a D.

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