In fact, we could just stop the episode right there. Good work, people. Let’s do this again next week. But instead who should saunter up but Tamsin, in a sequined tank top because vampires aren’t the only things that should sparkle these days. She says she’s taking Bo out to lunch, which is good because dinner would be confusing. It’s already hard to tell sometimes with gay ladies if they’re asking you out or just to hang out. It can be so nebulous. If only we could just pass each other notes that read, “Is this a date? Circle Yes or No.” But, rest assured, this isn’t a date. This is liquid lunch of a bloody marys at a Dark Fae bar, so if anything they’re just having gay brunch.
Tamsin goes full Whoopi in Ghost and “You in danger, girl” to Bo. Thing is, she probably won’t live through The Dawning, because it’s brutal times infinity. She says Trick and everyone else have been blowing smoke up her you-know-where to make her think she’s ready. So now you have to ask yourself which is the better teaching technique. The school of everyone gets a trophy self esteem boosting. Or the school of Bobby Knight will throw a chair at your head for your incompetence honesty. Help us, Pat Summitt, you’re Bo’s only hope.
Before Bo can pick her preferred teaching technique, a bunch of Dark Fae meatheads come over to give her a hard time. A little guy in a suit leads them out the back, thanks to a nicely timed right hook distraction from Tamsin, seemingly out of the goodness of his heart. But then Bo thanks him by saying she owes him a favor and shaking his hand. If I’ve learned anything from this show it is to never make any promises to or shake the hand of or spill the potions from or drink the blood of in spiked beer by strangers.
But too late, hand shook and promise made, the seemingly helpful fellow is a Spriggan and he is of course calling in that favor right now. Tamsin expresses all of our frustration at this development because it means we more than likely will not get to see Bo and Lauren wear the dresses at the same time, together like.
Meanwhile, back at the steampunk optometrist’s office, Trick and Stella are dealing with the machine which turns out to be Bo’s invitation to The Dawning. I don’t really get it either but it involves Trick, as her closest blood relative, playing the “game” for her by making a series of life or death choices and pulling on corresponding levers and watching how if affects her in real life as the sand goes through an hourglass. These are, indeed, the Faes of our lives. What, like you’ve never watched soap when you were home sick and too lazy to find the remote.
So Bo’s progress on the “favor” is getting help (or hindrance) from Trick’s choices on the machine. Tamsin comes along because, I’m guessing, she wants more people to see her in her sparkly tank top. First they meet an Asian teenage hipster eating noodles and must steal his fortune cookie. No, really. Um, I’m all for including more cultural diversity but wouldn’t it have been more fun and less predictable if he was eating, like, a big burrito or a plate of fried chicken?
Their plan goes well until Trick picks the food lever and has to, quite literally, feed the machine poison berries which make Bo’s tongue go numb and lose her succucharm. No one is seduced by marble mouth. But they get saved by the dart, which is confusing but go with it. The effects of the machine wear off in time for Bo to field a call from Lauren who has been drinking champagne and coming up with science jokes. So why do chemists like nitrates? Because they’re cheaper than day rates. [And pause for laughter.]
And this, this is why lesbians everywhere love Dr. Lauren Lewis.