“Lost Girl” Recap (3.04): Hush Now, Don’t Explain


At the new-age office it’s all crystals and sand play and those are just the pets. Bo gets right to work as a couples counselor (but not before the receptionist checks out her ass – I saw that, honey). The couple in question is two gay men bickering about how they only have sex all the time/hardly ever. Which in true Annie Hall fashion means about three times a week. Bo sympathizes with the hardly at all partner, because too much is never enough when you’re a succubus. Also because the other partner is a doctor and, hello, real-life parallels.

Bo gives them the love touch and they start love touching each other on the couch and talking about how fast they can pick up whipped cream. This makes Bo crave her own milkshake and she runs off to “lunch.” Which means Lauren. But the good doctor is craving a really good back massage instead. Bo suggests she massage a little lower. I like where this is going.

But Lauren has work to do and science to science. And then Bo uses her newfound doctor skills on Lauren and Lauren is like since when are you a doctor and Bo is all since I realized it wasn’t that hard and Lauren is like excuse me tell that to my friends Jung and Freud and Masters & Johnson and Kinsey.

And we’re about to enter a relationship minefield in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Lauren calls Bo’s going undercover unethical and her unqualified and then throws in the fact she never finished high school for good measure. Boom goes the dynamite.

Back at the office Bo looks for clues in one of the other doctor’s offices. Instead she finds Dr. Bob, the cat. This is when I immediately suspect one of the animals because if there’s one thing a gay lady can sniff out it’s bad pussy and spoiled fish. What? You laughed, don’t give me that look.

Kenzi is unloading her butt on Hale. Buttload of secrets that is. Or at least trying to. But no one has time to listen to Lil Mama. Even though her arm is itchy and her worries are serious. So instead Hale makes her the new stylist to the Ash and sends her off with a Fae-powered black platinum card. Can you charge antidotes to Norn potions? I sure hope so.

Back in fake doctor land, Bo runs after a missing patient who thinks he can stop a speeding cars with one hand. He can’t, but Bo does a descent job of stopping it with her hip. That’s going to leave a bruise. Or more than a bruise because Bo passes out after administering a dose of chi to the deluded dude. But before that she has just enough energy to confront the ass checking out receptionist who is a Suicide Fae. And then she commences with the passing out in a heap.

But, hey, it’s nothing a little makeup sex can’t fix. Who here thought Lauren was a flowery bra kind of gal? Yeah, me neither.

Well, maybe not entirely fix. Bo winces while getting dressed because even though she got what the doctor ordered, she still needs a stronger prescription.

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