Life’s eternal struggle is being expertly encapsulated by Bo and Kenzi, who are struggling mightily with an offishly oversized Fae fellow. He’s one in a series of Dark Fae baddies sent by the Morrigan, gosh we’ve missed her evil ass – and the rest of her too, to attack Bo and retrieve her incriminating photos. Sassy sidekick extraordinaire Kenzi takes out the big fella with an expertly timed punch to the lil fellas. But, while hauling him off, confesses the obvious – she’s only human and Bo isn’t at her feistiest these days either. She blames Lauren because that’s like “trying to charge an iPad with a hamster wheel.”
But it’s not really about Lauren being human. Or her lack of superpowers. It’s about Kenzi and her continued distrust of the good doctor and her very hotpants, which has not gone unnoted by Bo or anyone else. So she asks Kenzi to have it out. Why doesn’t she like Lauren. The answer: She’s “bossy, territorial and controlling.” Bo retorts that Lauren thinks she is “immature, irresponsible and clingy.” Well, good, now that that is out of the way.
Bo wants a truce in the Great Battle of 2013: BFF v. Main Squeeze because she lurves them both. Yes, she uses the “L” word and not in that irritating Ilene Chaiken way. Everyone’s on Team Bo and isn’t it wonderful? Well, not quite yet. But getting there. See, now that’s how you address a fandom without bursting through the Fourth Wall like a deranged Mr. Kool-Aid in an attempt to shame, let’s say, the entire Lesbian Blogging Community. Ahem.
Speaking of Team Lauren, she is dealing with an impotent Vex. He still can’t use his powers, but there’ no physiological reason for it. So Lauren hands him a helpful pamphlet titled, “So You Can’t Get It Up: How to Express Your Sensuality Without Controlling Your Partner’s Every Move.” He leaves in a huff, but not before getting in a little dig about her not being able to keep up with Succubunny like Dyson could. Well, now I’m less on Team Vex than I was before.
At the Dal, Dyson and Tamsin are playing pool and/or working. Vex is whining. And Bo is gloating about her insurance policy against the Morrigan. Remember those risqué shots of her all tied up? Man, I hope she backs up her phone to her laptop. Because otherwise can’t her insurance policy be easily stolen by, oh I don’t know, an unscrupulous former Dark Fae power player who is now flaccid with rejection from both sides. Oh, yeah. Saw that coming.
Bo goes to complain to Hale, who I still have trouble calling the Ash. He’s so nice and completely the opposite of sinister. He says her problems could all be gone if she’d just align and yada yada yada. But until then she can help herself by getting a grip on his Staff of Righteousness, which has gone missing. OK, the dick jokes in this episode are out of control.
Speaking of missing wood, Vex runs to the Morrigan with his ill-gotten iPhone and ceremonially allows her to delete the offending pictures. This is why you should always backup. The Morrigan, as delightfully devious as ever, tells him he’s not absolved until she has Bo’s pretty little head on a platter. And then she gives him a drink. It’s spiked with something nasty because, duh, she’s the Dark Fae ruler.