Lauren is still slaving away at the diner, when Crystal ignores her personal space to slide her her tips. Lauren starts to give her the “It’s complicated” spiel again, but then wants some answers instead. Like why is Crystal here. It’s not that existential why–why are we here, why do we exist, why is this life?–but more of the pragmatic why is a hottie like you in a dive like this. Crystal talks about big dreams and being swallowed whole. Fine, it’s a little existential.
Ali Liebert’s face through it all is so lovely, open and vulnerable. She’s realigned her dreams to a 10-acre farm with chickens and pigs and an old Palamino named Duke. This is now her own little slice of heaven. Aw, man, Crystal. You’re going to break our damn hearts, aren’t you?
Crystal tells Lauren she knows she’s off the market, but she’s always welcome at her place for pizza and beers and venting. Lauren’s like, but where is that? And Crystal is like, check the napkin, princess. Then Lauren’s face does this, which means we’re all goddamn goners.
So Bo and Megan Fox Lite are having it out when who should swoop in but Dyson. Yeah, yeah, Wolf Boy saves the day. Just don’t touch his feet. The body jumper does just that and Bo gets officially introduced to the madness that is Jenny Schecter. Really, the only way Lost Girl could get more lesbian fandoms excited is if they cast Jaime Murray. Or possibly Laura Prepon. Hint, hint, producers–HINT, HINT.
Dyson and Bo double team possessed Schecter (once again I ask, redundant?) who cackles and wonders aloud if she just accepted a three-way. The body jumper jumps back into Megan Fox Lite and slices her mom’s neck. Mayhem, pandemonium, the usual.
Right, so this is what you came for. This is what you can’t stop thinking about. This is the main freaking event. Are you ready? Are you prepared? Have you taken your heart pills? Because it is about to explode or break, depending upon where your allegiances lie.