Lesbianing with AE! Uh Oh, You’re Hot for Teacher

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I have this huge crush on a professor from my college. She’s not my professor, but my campus isn’t that big and I saw her one day at the cafe and didn’t really get the chance to talk to her – I swear my gaydar went off and I was immediately infatuated. She happens to give classes to a friend of mine, who’s said she IS a lesbian (information was never really confirmed with some real proof) and she seems to be very much single – must I confess I became a huge stalker on social media.

From this day on, I got to be friends with her on facebook and followed her on Instagram then she followed me back and she did get into my profile and liked some one week old picture. We talked a little on direct messages, I was the one to start the subject and she was very nice and receptive. But I want more, I want to get to know her and everyday that goes by I’m more and more into her.

Help me to get some action plan!

– Plato

Hey Plato,

Spoiler alert, I’m not going to tell you how to proposition your hot lesbian professor for sex.

I do know how you feel. There were two out lesbian professors at my college — they were a couple, one was butch and the other was femme — and it seemed like every lesbian and half the straight kids had crushes on one or the other of them. These women were smart, confident, sexy, and powerful. And that’s the problem with these student-professor, May-December crushes. There’s an inherent power imbalance in them and to proposition your professor for sex is honestly kind of unfair to them. They hold unfair power over you in the classroom, but you hold power over their livelihood if the affair is outed.

They hold unfair power over you in the classroom, but you hold power over their livelihood if the affair is outed.

Your professor crush is probably adjuncting unless she’s lucky enough to be tenure track, and in that case she’s hustling to “publish or perish” and get that tenure so she can be set for life. Being a professor these days isn’t an easy gig – just ask the loads of them, including folks I know, who are doing sex work in between office hours to avoid getting evicted or being homeless or being too poor to eat.

I know — you’re a college student and maybe all you can afford is Top Noodles too. But you’re passing through academia and your professor crush is trying to make a living, and if she sleeps with you, she could compromise her career.

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If you care about this woman, don’t make moves on her for her own good until you’ve graduated college. If you’re like, “but I’m not even in her class and this is so unfair AAAH” then check your school’s policy on student-teacher relationships. Schools are getting more serious about student-teacher relationships and sexual assault as they face threats of losing Title IX funding, so many universities have official policies banning undergraduate student-teacher relationships.

Sure, you’ve heard rumors of one professor sleeping with all his or her students, but don’t take that as permission to proposition your prof. Is it worth pursuing this crush on the off-chance it could get reported (all it takes is a vindictive ex or gossipy roommate) and become headline news in your college town?

Is it worth pursuing this crush on the off-chance it could get reported (all it takes is a vindictive ex or gossipy roommate) and become headline news in your college town?

I don’t see liking an old Instagram photo or friending you on Facebook as proof of sexual interest, either. Especially when you don’t have actual proof that she’s gay. (On that note I’d suggest making your campus library your friend, and looking into her research to see whether she’s written on LGBTQ topics – not everyone shares personal information on social media). This professor could friend any student who asks on social media, or she could perceive your interest as academic, rather than sexual.

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My best advice: Look all you want at this hot professor, and then go home and masturbate. Date someone who also thinks this professor is smoking hot and enjoy elaborate student-professor role plays. Find ways to turn your fiery crush feelings into safe consensual outlets for that erotic energy. If you’re interested in older women, find older women who aren’t professors at your school and who can give you what you want without compromising themselves in the process.

My best advice: Look all you want at this hot professor, and then go home and masturbate. Date someone who also thinks this professor is smoking hot and enjoy elaborate student-professor role plays.

I know, this isn’t what you want to hear and you probably will keep pursuing this crush, despite these warnings. But… you asked!

Got a question for Lindsey? Email our editor at memoree@afterellen.com with “Q for Lindsey” in the subject line! 

 

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