Hi Anna! I have a question about using protection during sex. I’m currently in my fourth year of university, and have only recently come out and started dating women. I’ve had boyfriends in the past, so I’m not sexually inexperienced, but I feel kind of lost about some of the specifics of getting it on with a girl. I don’t mean the actual mechanics of doing it or anything (no worries there!), but rather what is the deal with using protection?
I guess my question is this: I know that doctors, etc. promote the use of rubber gloves and dental dams when you’re doing the deed, but is that like, actual common practice with most ladies? What kind of gloves do people use? I have this horrible image of those loose fitting rubber gloves from the pharmacy in my mind: not sexy at all. And, most importantly, where was this information when I was learning how to put a condom on a banana in 9th grade Health class?
As much as I’m concerned about the possibility of STIs, I’m also worried about looking silly or inexperienced by whipping out 5 pounds of latex the next time I bring a girl home, since, as a newly-out 22-year-old, most of the girls I meet are way more experienced than I am. And really, who wants to feel silly while they’re naked? I feel like an awkward virgin all over again, and it’s terrible. Thanks for your help!—ReVirginized
Anna says: Safer sex is on y’alls minds lately, huh? We already talked about how to broach safe sex with a one-night stand recently, but for your question, I’ve called for reinforcements. Allison Moon is an author and sex educator who’s writing Girl Sex 101 an illustrated, sex ed book for queer women. She’s raising money to complete the book on Kickstarter now. But first, here’s what Allison had to say about your question:
As a personal aside, I’ve used a dental dam exactly once (at the request of a new sex partner). It was like licking an inner tube, but hey, that’s where her comfort level was, so I was happy to oblige. Other than that though, I don’t hear much about dental dams. Granted, someone must be using them—for other reasons than “something to throw at drag show audiences.” Also, and this is something I learned from Allison in one of her workshops, you can turn a glove into a dental dam quickly and easily, which is so smart and so MacGyver a move that your lady can’t NOT be impressed.