Lesbianing with AE: Should I surprise my girlfriend with a vibrator?

on

My girlfriend’s birthday is coming up and I’ve been thinking of getting her a vibrator for me to use on her. My problem is I can’t tell if she would find this fun and sexy or if she would be weirded out by the gift. We’re also having a birthday party for her at a local brewery so I don’t know if I should give her the gift there (where she might get embarrassed) or give it to her later (after she is mad I didn’t give her a gift in public). Her birthday’s next month and at this point I can talk myself into doing either way… what should I do? – Buzz Off?

Hey Buzz Off,

The fact that you’re having so many questions tells me you should not get your girlfriend a vibrator right now.

Gifts are an expression of your feelings. If you suspect your girlfriend would be weirded out to get this gift, then you’re probably right. Your girlfriend may not be as sex-positive as you are, or her friends might not be as sex-positive as you both are, or your girlfriend could feel insecure about her skills in the bedroom. Even if she thinks this is an amazing gift, it sounds like you’ve got a lot of worried piling up — worries you wouldn’t have if you were giving her anything other than a sex toy.

When should you give a vibrator as a gift? When you’ve talked with your girlfriend about using vibrators (alone or together), when she’s expressed interest/enthusiasm/curiosity about a vibrator, when you have a better understanding of how she’d react to getting one as a gift, and when you would be able to give the gift without stress or second-guessing.

When should you give a vibrator as a gift? When you’ve talked with your girlfriend about using vibrators (alone or together), when she’s expressed interest/enthusiasm/curiosity about a vibrator, when you have a better understanding of how she’d react to getting one as a gift, and when you would be able to give the gift without stress or second-guessing.

There’s a middle ground here, where you could give her a gift certificate to a sex shop to be redeemed at her convenience and with full privacy. If she’s given you mixed signals on wanting to use sex toys, this could be an easy solution.

Got a question for Lindsey? Email the editor at memoree@afterellen.com with “Q for Lindsey” in the subject line, and your question may appear in a future Lesbianing with AE! 

More you may like