TV

Life After “The Real L Word”: Where The Cast Is Now

It’s been four and a half years since The Real L Word first aired on Showtime, and two since it ended its third and final season. Whether you loved the reality show about lesbians or loved to hate it, the women involved were representatives of our community for anyone who might have tuned in for the girl-girl relationship drama and uncensored sex. (Gotta love Showtime.)

We checked in with the show participants to see how life has changed for them since the show, and what they think about the experience when they look back on it now.

Whitney Mixter & Sada Bettencourtvia Instagram The married pair went on to do Vh1’s Couple’s Therapy last year, where they discussed their jealousy issues and Sada’s insecurities based on her father’s violence against his family when she was young. Together they continue to host girl parties like Juicy at Rage in West Hollywood and head up an e-commerce line called Cloth & Justice.

Some other changes for the couple include Whitney’s cutting off her trademark dreads for a much shorter look and Sada switching out that “R” in her name (Sara) for a “D.”

Follow them: @whitneymixterla, @saratrlw

Nikki Weiss and Jill Sloane-Goldstein Although Nikki and Jill were married on the show’s first season, California had not yet legalized same-sex marriage. “We just celebrated our fourth unlawfully wedding anniversary,” Nikki said of the couple who were legally married at the Beverly Hills Courthouse on August 1, 2013. “It’s amazing to see how far our country has come, but we still need to fight for marriage equality in all 50 States.”

There have been a lot of changes in their lives since they shared their story, including a move from West Hollywood to the Valley. That move was partly inspired by Jill’s giving birth to their son, Adler.

“He just turned two on October 9th,” Nikki said. “Parenting has, of course, been incredible together and Adler has enriched our lives so much.”

2013 was a difficult year for the family, though, when Nikki was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer.

“I kept it a secret for over seven months until I knew I had no more evidence of disease,” Nikki said. “I just finished treatment this past May.” Adler was only three months old at the time, and Jill’s father passed only a few days after the diagnosis after his own 17 year battle with prostate cancer.

“Needless to say, it’s been a very hard few years, but our son Adler was the bright light that kept us going through it all,” Nikki said. “And I couldn’t have fought as hard as I did without my incredible wife by my side.”

If cameras were following them around today, “they would see a playroom full of toys, baby wipes, diapers and sippy cups,” Nikki said. “Jill and I being Momma and Mommy. Me of course working like a crazy person and being on my directors sets, Jill writing and working in the commercial world in TV and print, attending mommy and me classes with our son, play dates.” Nikki is also on the board of Pink Lotus Petals, a non-profit that helps “underprivileged and uninsured women get screened and follow up surgery and care.”

Although they are happy to have forged friendships with the women they met through the show, Nikki said she doesn’t think she and Jill are “really cut from the reality TV cloth.”

“Initially we participated to change the landscape, to help those struggling to accept themselves, to help parents who were struggling to understand their children, to show a stable and honest relationship,” Nikki said. “I know we succeeded just from the lives we’ve touched and the letters that we still receive from all over the world, and for that alone, we thank The Real L Word for sharing a part of our story.”

Nikki and Jill’s love story was told an in Expedia initiative in 2013, aka the wildest year of their lives.

Follow them: @weissgoldsteins

Mikey Koffmanvia Facebook Known for wearing her sunglasses at night and, well, all of the time, Mikey has been one of the quietest about her reality TV fame since appearing on Season 1. She’s now the CEO and Executive Producer of Endless Road Entertainment, which puts on events and is, of course, a part of L.A. Fashion Week. Although she proposed to girlfriend Raquel on the show, the two split up shortly after.

Follow Mikey: @erLAinc

Raquel Castaneda Raquel has spent her time off-camera “hosting fundraisers, working on political campaigns and consulting for non profits.” She joked that if she was still on a reality show, cameras “wouldn’t see my bra straps hanging out of my T-shirts anymore that’s for sure!” Instead, they’d find her going to church.

“In high school I was the President of the Christian Club, so I’m back on campus teaching a weekly bible study that I started almost 20 years ago,” Raquel said. “Serving in ministry has always been one of my passions so being able to pray for and encourage high school students is one of the highlights of my life.”

Raquel says she’s been single ever since the show ended, though she did run into ex Mikey recently at the grocery store.

“Looking back at the show it was like a really fun and crazy week at Dinah Shore summer camp! And just like summer camp, I will miss it,” she said.

Raquel is glad she participated on the show, saying, “Everything we go through in life can help another person. Our deepest hurts, our greatest disappointments and our happiest times can be the very thing that helps to inspire someone else. I know that the experience has inspired me. I have really grown. I’m really glad I did it and I would do it all over again. I’m really grateful I got the chance to share my story. Ten years ago we all used to religiously watch The L Word. So here’s to forever being a part TV History! God bless you all!”

Follow Raquel: @castanedaraquel

Rose Garcia The original Papi says she made a lot of “behavioral” changes after seeing herself on Season 1.

“I was a party animal… bad girlfriend, and a bit selfish,” she said. “I did a lot of growing up. I tend to pay attention to the way I treat and speak to people now, especially the ones I care about.”

Rose says she still parties “on a smaller scale,” but spends most of her time running her own real estate group. She keeps in touch with several of her castmates, including those on different seasons.

“I am super close to Romi,” Rose said. “We are great friends and have an online radio show we do, The Romi & Rose Show on LA Talk Live. She and I have a sisterly relationship. I also keep in touch with Whitney and Sara as well. I can truly consider those three like family. You went through an unusual experience and create a bond. It has stuck over the years with those three. They know my family, come over to see my mom, and have been there through good and bad times. Everyone else in the cast has sort of drifted for me. I did see Mikey a few months ago at a restaurant. She looked amazing. New hair style, wearing a tailored suit, and was super sweet. She and I had a 15 year friendship, but life does get in the way. I am super cool with all of the cast from season 3. Kiyomi and I occasionally do appearances together and we always have a kick ass time.”

Rose said she has no regrets about the show and is proud to be a part of the first season. “Season 1 was about adult lesbian professionals dealing with love, work, family….life,” she said. “I am also grateful that I have the memory of this experience forever. My grandmother was a part of this and showed that a traditional old school Catholic Latin woman can love the lesbian kid she raised no matter what. Now that she has passed away, this show means more to me than it initially did.”

Follow Rose: @shotcalla

Natalie Hornedovia Instagram Rose’s on-again, off-again girlfriend on Season 1 is a hair stylist at A Tamara Dahill Salon in Toluka Lake, California. Her sister is DJ Lezlee, who spins widely in Los Angeles and girl events like Whitney and Sada’s party at Rage and Shedonism in Las Vegas. Natalie is in a relationship.

Follow Natalie: @_natalie_denise

Tracy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis Season 1 saw Tracy trying to balance her homophobic mom and relationship with Stamie, who shares custody of her small children with her ex-partner.

“It took some time and finessing, but Stamie and my mom are now great friends,” Tracy said. “She finally accepted Stamie’s Facebook request!”

Tracy, Stamie and kids live together in a new house and Tracy is now working in television production, but continues to model and act, including starring in the Tello Series Kiss Her I’m Famous. The couple also have a podcast together where they interview friends and their Real L Word castmates.

“People often ask me if I regret doing the show and my answer is a definite no,” Tracy said. “I have fond memories, have met and worked with some amazing people, traveled around the world, and got to know myself better along the way. I lived outside of my comfort zone, made friends (and lost a few), learned how to say ‘no,’ and challenged myself to stay grounded through both praise and criticism. Hopefully we all did more good than bad, and had some fun along the way!”

Tracy said if cameras were around now, they’d catch her playing basketball, podcasting with Stamie and “negotiating with 7 year olds. My plate is full-I’m always looking for the next adventure!”

Stamie is still selling real estate and doing comedy. She hosts a regular show called Comedy 90210 in Beverly Hills.

Follow them: @tracyryerson, @stamiela

Alyssa Morgan Alyssa still lives in the same house The Real L Word filmed so much in, though she now occupies it with partner Shay Magro instead of BFF Whitney. Since the show, she’s continued to work in special effects makeup but is also working on a television pilot and a web series.

“[I’m also doing] another TV project with actress/producer Janina Gavankar, who, ironically, played Papi on Showtime’s original series The L Word,” Alyssa said. Alyssa is still tight with Whitney, who she’s known for years, and says she’s formed bonds with many of the other women from the show.

“If cameras were following me now, they would probably be exhausted from chasing me around,” Alyssa said. “I have been traveling for work for the last five months straight. Between set jobs and network meetings, I barely see my fiance unless its to lay my head on my pillow for a few hours at night.”

Alyssa is producing the new Love Darling music video, which is not only her fiance’s band, but also performed The Real L Word theme song.

“I still find it hilarious that people didn’t know that I’m gay or that I am engaged to the lead singer of the band,” Alyssa said. “I guess that’s partially because I kept my personal life out of the spotlight as much as possible… That and they didn’t find my day to day life as dramatic as some of the other stories being caught on camera.”

Alyssa said she wished she had been shown as more than just the “den mother” on the show, or as a lot of people called her, “the voice of reason.”

“There were so many more interesting elements to all of our lives than the one dimensional characters they boxed us all into. Whitney was ‘the player,’ because it made for good tv, but she is also an entrepreneur, a philanthropist, and an educated activist, on top of being a fantastic friend,” Alyssa said. “I am also an accomplished artist, in a relationship, and had a lot more to offer than witty one liners and shit talking someone’s bad decisions.”

Ultimately, she feels strongly that the show should have been a little more respectful and truthful than it was.

“I think people like reality tv because they want to feel connected to others. They want to see that their lives are like other people’s lives. Of course, people love drama and train wrecks, but I think we should try harder to make smarter choices when it comes to actually creating television. The choices the show creators made were embarrassing and irresponsible, especially if their intentions were to bring light to same sex couples and how they are just like everyone else. I feel like it highlighted sex, drama and deceit. The tender moments were too fleeting or often times overlooked in my humble opinion. I mean come on, there’s enough scripted drama out there, if you want to be horrified or disgusted, pick up a newspaper. The state of our world, our government, our planet, those are all crazy enough for me, without needing to see what some random girl in L.A. is eating for lunch while hearing her tell her friend about how she can’t stand some girl who is sleeping with the girl of her dreams.”

Overall, Alyssa is happy to have made the friends she has through the show so she says she “can’t be too upset.”

“Would I have done things differently if I were in charge? Sure,” she said. “That’s probably why I’d never write a reality based show like this though!”

Follow Alyssa: @alyssamorganLA

Romi Klinger Originally introduced as one of Whitney’s conquests in Season 1, Romi was upped to regular castmate for Season 2. Although she broke up with girlfriend Kelsey for ex-boyfriend Dusty Ray, who she ended up marrying in Las Vegas at the end of Season 3, the two have been seeing each other on and off since the series’ end.

“It’s been a really rough year after my separation with Dusty, my husband,” Romi said. “We are good terms but didn’t work out and it’s a feeling of failing but I’m working on a new chapter now. I am currently dating Kelsey again.”

Romi is working in the restaurant industry and trying to “figure out if I want to go back to school for social work and psychology. I deal with being bipolar and want to work towards something that I care about.”

After becoming sober during the show, Romi has returned to drinking alcohol though she says it’s an on-going issue.

“I battle with alcohol still and am taking it one day at a time,” she said. “Every day is a new day.”

Romi said that the show was just “a chapter” in her life.

“So much of my real life I wish I could [have] talked about rather than just who I was sleeping with,” she said. “I deal with issues I think some could relate to other than being bisexual. I’m grateful for the experience and also glad it’s over.”

Follow Romi: @Romimarieray

Kelsey Chavarriavia Sharpe Suiting After the show ended, Kelsey continued to try her hand at modeling and acting. She’s currently one of the faces of Sharpe Suiting, a queer-owned company that creates custom suits for genderqueer and androgynous people. She’s also working for an interior design company in Long Beach called Rework-d.

Follow Kelsey: @kelseychavarria

Francine Beppuvia Twitter Francine appeared on Season 2 and continues to work as the Co-Founder and Director of her business development company Namiwave. She briefly dated Chef K on the show, who went onto appear on Millionaire Matchmaker and The Taste.

Follow Francine: @naokoctopus

Claire Moseleyvia Instagram Francine’s ex, Claire, is now married to Leslie O’Harrow Mosley and, together, they head up O’Harrow Clothiers which sells clothes for both men and women. Their goods (like button-downs and customizable pocket squares) are made from Japanese and English clothes, but constructed in the U.S. The couple lives in the Silverlake neighborhood of Los Angeles.

Follow Claire: @clairecampbellmosley

Vivian Wuvia Instagram Claire was also dating Vivian while on the show, a model who stayed in New York while Claire headed out west. Vivian is now co-owner of Wu Designs which creates avante-garde styles.

Follow Vivian: @viviwuwu

Rachel Rodriguez Whitney’s ex Rachel came out to LA for Season 2 but has since moved to Miami Beach, working as a master stylist at a salon. Rachel says she keeps in touch with “Sada, Alyssa, Whit and Franny” (Francine),” and that she’s now “working and happy.”

“In retrospect I would not have let the show twist my actions and would be much more conscious of my behavior during the short time they filmed,” Rachel said. “I feel like they wanted to make people out certain ways and that’s what the agenda was.”

But she doesn’t regret being on the show, although she does note “the experience was something I would not do again.”

Follow Rachel: @rachelrocket4u

Sajdah Bryantvia Facebook After appearing on Season 2, Sajdah started BlackOUT magazine, a publication dedicated to LGBTQA people of African descent. She suspended the mag in 2013 to focus on law school at University of La Verne, which she still attends with a focus in corporate tax and entertainment law.

Follow Sajdah: @SajdahBryant

Chanel Brown Chanel was introduced to the show through a chance meeting with Sajdah. The two dated throughout Season 2 and ended up being together for two years. Although they are no longer in touch, Chanel says they both feel it’s for the best and they wish each other success. Chanel is focused on her professional life, which includes event planning for non-profits and working on her own small business, Visionaire House.

“In the meantime, I write for The Fab Femme blog as editor for our inspirational column ‘Fab You,'” Chanel said. “We have a few products launching spring of 2015.”

Chanel is currently moving to New York and said she just recently watched The Real L Word for the first time since it aired.

“I didn’t know myself as I thought I did when we were being filmed,” she said. “As a result I carried a lot of frustration about how I was perceived. Letting the world into your life isn’t easy when you consider yourself a private person, but I don’t regret doing so. Now, I’m just thankful for the experience. I see how much I’ve grown and because of the show I have this incredible memory that will always encourage me to express myself openly and quit hiding in the shadows from my own light-qualities that make me who I am.”

Chanel said she does not keep in touch with any castmates, as she never felt like a castmember.

“I didn’t even keep in touch with them during the show,” Chanel said. “I didn’t audition to be in the show so I didn’t understand all that was happening. Between the production teams focus and castmates individual filming goals, there wasn’t room for people to know me authentically. I was in a constant battle between being my introverted self and opening up to strangers so they didn’t think I was stuck up.”

Follow Chanel: @mschanelbrown

Kacy and Cori Boccumini Still completely happy and in love, Kacy and Cori have had a few struggles since appearing on Seasons 2 and 3.

“It was such a painful part of life that was captured, but honestly, life got way more complicated and painful after the cameras stopped filming,” Kacy said. “Most people don’t know that we actually got pregnant again with twins, but lost that pregnancy as well midway through for completely unrelated reasons. And then, like dominos, life just kept coming. A month after the second loss, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I had been symptomatic for five years without knowing it and it was the stress of the last loss that brought on the worst symptoms that led to the diagnosis.”

Shortly after, Cori’s father passed away from cancer, which Kacy said was “the hardest.”

“It happened so quickly, and it just took the breath out of us. So we found ourselves, no babies, with broken hearts and spirits, and we had to manage a way to climb out of the dark one more time. And we did it. We are still doing it.”

The couple have made mental and physical health their top priority.

“We each became individuals again—with separate needs and wants. I am Kacy, and yes, I am married to Cori, but we are separate people,” Kacy said. “And after such a devastating trauma, separating can be very difficult. It’s like ripping off a limb. But we did that, too—focusing on our own individuality, not ripping of arms.”

Currently the couple are focusing on themselves and have put any plans of children on hold.

“We aren’t even discussing family for a while, and for people who only know us through the show, that is a huge change, but it was a necessary one,” Kacy said.

Kacy says she has been eating clean on the Paleo diet after her MS diagnosis and has dropped 30 pounds in the last two years.

“I just turned 35 in October, and I feel better then I did in high school,” she said. “I also play every sport imaginable: Football, volleyball, softball, tennis, basketball, and run every chance I get.”

She hopes to inspire others in the lesbian community to stop “eating like assholes.”

“It’s a fact that the lesbian community has the highest rate of obesity and that’s a very scary statistic that really hit home for me. I was there. Hell, the heaviest I ever was, I decided to go on television!” Kacy said. “Weight and eating correctly need to be a larger focus for our community leaders and we need to be actively encouraging better habits for healthy living so that our community can thrive.”

Since Lauren (Season 3) was also diagnosed with MS, Kacy said they have formed a bond.

“Lauren and I communicate fairly regularly because we keep each other informed about our health, share medical news, etc.” she said. “It’s insane that of all of the people in the world who get MS, two girls on the same show were diagnosed within months of each other, and we were showing similar symptoms at exactly the same time, and had no idea whatsoever. Talk about a small world. We laugh about the irony all the time that if there had been a 4th season of the show, it could have been a real benefit to talk about MS because it’s a huge issue for our community — no additional casting needed.”

One regret Kacy has about the show is one you might not have assumed.

“I would NEVER have let them put so much make up on me for the publicity shots,” she said. “It wasn’t me and didn’t feel like me, and I hate that those shots are even out there. Funny enough, that bothers me more then my wife smacking me in the face with a homemade dildo and squirting me with chocolate milk from said dildo. Totally within the realm of possible in our household, but make up, that’s where I draw the line!”

Follow them: @kacychristine, @coricupcake

Amanda Leigh Dunnvia Instagram Amanda was co-owner of the short-lived NYC lesbian bar The Dalloway, which closed last year. She is now the Director of Nightlife and Special Events at Spin Galactic, which is a cluster of NYC social clubs with table tennis (aka ping pong).

Follow Amanda: @amandaleighdunn

Somer Bingham and Donna Rizham Somer and Donna welcomed a daughter, Ella Riley, just this past August.

“It’s really hard to describe that overwhelming sense of joy,” Somer said. “Plus I’ve somehow managed to convince my wife Donna to keep the home studio for now. Diapers and guitars share roughly the same amount of space in the apartment.”

Outside of mom duties, Somer books bands for an East Village music venue where she started a new weekly lesbian party, U-Haul Sundays. She also plays music with her band Clinical Trials, which fits in nicely with an upcoming gig.

“I’m actually going to be back in front of the cameras,” she said. “The production team who makes the docu-series Start Up is creating a new travel and music show, touring around the country to explore the roots of American music history. It’s been a dream job so far – in the Detroit episode we just shot, I hung out with Dwele and interviewed Martha Reeves!”

Somer said she doesn’t keep in touch with her former Hunter Valentine bandmates much, but did see Laura at a festival not long ago. (“It was nice to catch up.”)

“As a cast member, it’s hard for me to have an unbiased view of the show in the context of lesbian culture,” Somer said of The Real L Word. ” I’m glad lesbians had a reality show and grateful to have been part of it – housewives and duck hunters and Honey Boo Boos do it, so why can’t we? And the depth of some of the stories on the show – losing a baby, getting married, coming out – brought so much more insight than most reality shows ever touch on.”

The show also helped Somer and her wife reconnect, in a way.

“It was a really exciting and fun time in my life, and Donna and I have great memories of traveling and sharing this weird, insane adventure of being in front of the cameras,” Somer said. ” We had actually been going through a rough patch after getting married, and the experience absolutely brought us closer and in some ways reminded us of the trust, loyalty and love we felt.”

Follow Somer: @somerbingham

Lauren Bedford Russell “Pretty much everything in my life has changed since the show,” Lauren said. “It seems like the only thing that is the same is my work – my jewelry line, Lyon.”

Lauren moved from New York to LA in Season 3 but has been back in Brooklyn for close to two years. Her MS diagnosis came during filming, but she did not make it public until months later. Another very public part of her time on the show as her relationship with castmate Kiyomi.

“About six months ago, Kiyomi and I went our separate ways, but are still friends,” Lauren said.

Lauren said she is a “more mature and focused person” now “who knows what she wants and is treating every day as a blessing.”

“I have such a positive feeling about the show mainly because of the continued love from viewers,” she said. “I was caught off guard by it back then when it aired, I wasn’t expecting it I guess. And still feel so lucky now. For the personal comments, messages and letters that I receive. I’ve said this before, and I will keep saying it. My heart has been filled by this love and support and I am so so blessed. I’m also so lucky to have been able to give advice to girls around the world who have struggles with their sexuality or family. How lucky to be able to help in any way. It’s a dream really for me. When I look back I don’t think about the actual show actually, I think about the overall experience and the gift that it was.”

Lauren is currently at work on her more affordable line, Bronson by Lyon, which will hopefully be more in the price-point of most fans.

Follow Lauren: @1laurenrussell

Kiyomi McCloskeyvia Instagram Hunter Valentine appeared on another reality show, Vh1’s Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project just this past summer where they lost bandmate Aimee Bessada, who decided to leave the band to pursue a solo career. Although they didn’t win the record deal with Linda Perry, Kiyomi and Laura have continued to work with the producer on their new album, which they hope to release in the latter part of 2015. They’ve been on the road with Sick of Sarah for the past several months on their new LadyKiller Tour.

Follow Kiyomi: @Kiyomance

Laura Petraccavia Instagram Laura continues to enjoy cooking in her off-time and lives in Brooklyn when not in a tour van. She’s currently single.

Follow Laura: @laurapetracca

Vero Sanchezphoto by Leslie Van Stelten After Season 3 of The Real L Word, Vero continued to tour with Hunter Valentine but left the band in February 2013 to work on her solo act.

“I’ve relocated twice in the past year from NYC to Minneapolis and now Nashville where I’ve been focusing on songwriting and teaming up with other writers and musicians,” Vero said. “I feel like Nashville is the perfect place for me to do this. Come this December, I’ll be hitting the recording studio to release my next EP, Urban Cowgirl.”

Vero said she still keeps in touch with her old bandmates – “The content of our conversations usually involves an ‘I miss the hell out of you.'”- and that she has an eternal love for them and the show.

“The show was definitely an interesting experience for me. When you have a camera in your face, the pressure is on to be at your best or worst depending on your face time desires,” Vero said. “I spent a lot of time being filmed and honestly I don’t think my life was dramatic or drunk enough for reality TV. I just showed them whatever I had: An honest relationship with my mom, a great relationship with my girlfriend, and a love for music and my bandmates.”

Vero is still with her girlfriend, Katie Murphy, and is happy to have met a lot of “amazing people” through her time on reality TV.

“Even though the show has ended I want to share my appreciation to the fans who have checked in on me. It’s motivating and helps keep me inspired,” she said. “Thanks for that.”

Follow Vero: @veromusicnyc

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