The trusty website, UrbanDictionary.com, has several definitions for the term lesbro:
1. A man who has more friendships with lesbians than other women or men.
2. The male equivalent of a fag hag.
3. A heterosexual man who is either one or both of the following: a brother to one or more lesbian sisters, or, friends with a disproportionate amount of homosexual women. “Wow, your brother really only hangs out with gay girls, doesn’t he! And you’re a big gay yourself, sister! What a lesbro you’ve got there!”
To us, a lesbro is a little bit of all, but at his core, a lesbro is a male friend to at least one, but possibly several, lesbians. This column shares a little bit about some famous lesbros that we love.
This week’s Lesbro: Dave Hause.
Dave Hause is the frontman of the Philadelphia punk/rock ‘n roll band The Loved Ones, and he recently released his first solo full length record, Resolutions.
I have known Dave for many years through my good friend Jen Johnson (bassist/style badass) but it wasn’t until Dave sent me this performance of he and Bryan Fallon of Gaslight Anthem covering Tegan and Sara’s “Call it Off” that I realized he was, in fact, a Lesbro.
AfterEllen.com: Of the above definitions of Lesbro, which do you think describes you best?
Dave Hause: I’d say number 3.
AE: What is the best thing about your lesbian friend/s?
DH: Well, for one, we can just discuss and discuss how hot various women are. Three of my best friends in the world are my sisters, so I’m used to having wonderful women friends with whom there is no sexual connotation or tension. Hanging out with lesbians is like hanging out with my sisters: lots of laughing and not even the thought of flirting.
AE: Do you think that having lesbian friends has anything to do with where you fall on the Kinsey scale? Care to comment on your own sexuality?
DH: I don’t think one has much to do with the other. Being a good person and being open to differences throughout humanity is what indicates the various types of friends one has.
As far as where I fall on the Kinsey scale, I definitely am pretty straight, but I highly doubt there are that many true “0′s” on the scale. Exclusively heterosexual? Seems doubtful.
I mean, let’s face it, sexuality and love are fluid as far as I’m concerned. Love is about forming lasting, safe connections with people, and sexuality, at it’s most healthy, is an extension of love. I think the less we as a culture see things as straight/gay, black/white, etc, and focus on our humanity, the more you can understand people and why they do what they do.
I was raised in a evangelical church background where the pervasive view is that being “gay” is a “sin,” and I can’t think of a more damaging sexual world view than that was, other than the Taliban or some awful s–t like that. Human beings crave safe connection as well as have primal urges, and in a positive relationship both can be achieved. Love is rare, if you find it in a homosexual or heterosexual context, hold on tight to it.
AE: What stereotype about lesbians have you found to be false?
DH: I’d say the stereotype that most lesbians are feminists. I haven’t found that to be entirely true.
AE: How have you found that to be false?
DH: I guess what I mean by that is that a person’s sexuality doesn’t automatically dictate anything about your specific interests or politics in life. In other words, just because a woman is attracted to other women doesn’t mean she is necessarily interested in social change or fights for any specific causes, etc. I think the stereotype of the ultra feminist, man hating lesbian is a caricature. People are all different, and each person’s sexuality is their own thing. It’s just about who you love.
AE: What do you think it is specifically that draws you towards being friends with lesbians?
DH: Well, to be perfectly honest, I hang out mostly with working class people. I play in a punk band and do construction, so I end up hanging with a lot of “dudes.” It’s a real pleasure to hang out with as many different kinds of people with varying perspectives — it’s what makes the world go round.
AE: How has your wife responded to your friendships with lesbians?
DH: Well here’s the thing: My wife is one of those “instant lesbian, just add alcohol” or “lipstick lesbians” — which is really rad, and I’ll just leave it at that. Again, sexuality is fluid.
AE: You have toured with your bands for many years. Have you gone on tour with any all girl bands or female fronted bands?
DH: Yes, I worked for The Lunachicks on the 2000 Warped tour, and I’ve been on tour with many different bands that have had girls in them (F-Minus, The Distillers, etc.) The Loved Ones toured a bunch with my sister Missy playing keyboards, so I’ve toured a lot with girls. It’s been a real pleasure and I prefer to have a mix of people out on tour, those “all dude” tours start to degenerate into cave man politics a lot of times and are kind of a snooze.
AE: What are some of your all time favorite female fronted bands?
DH: Fleetwood Mac, Tegan and Sara, The Distillers, No Doubt and AFI. I love so many female singer songwriters, too: Patty Griffin, Jenny Lewis, Emmylou Harris, Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, Nina Simone, Aretha Franklin — the list is endless.