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Lesbian TV’s cheating hearts (and other parts)

Monogamy. Fidelity. Commitment. To some, these words mean everything. To others, they fly out the window as soon as something tantalizing or destructive comes their way. In real life, cheating is heartbreaking and no one gets out completely unscathed. We want to be loyal and good partners, but sometimes something or someone flicks a switch in us and vows are broken, promises sullied.

Our feelings about the issue also strongly translate to our favorite television characters and couples. It’s rarely smooth sailing for our favorite ships, but nothing enrages or dismays fans more that when one or both members of a couple step out on each other. Whether it’s an “energy exchange” or a full blown, on-call room hook up, when our favorite characters waver in their commitment to their significant other, it causes fans to waver as well. Here are some of the most notorious and heartbreaking examples of unfaithful lesbian ladies on TV.

Skins

Guilty party: Naomi Campbell

Girlfriend: Emily Fitch

Cheated with: Sophia

Naomi, Naomi, Naomi. Not to beat a dead horse (too soon?) but she was dating the beautiful and smart, descendent of cockney wood sprites, Emily Fitch, when a casual roll in the hay with crazypants cadet Sophia nearly derailed their love. Things got really bollocksed when Sophia performed a deadly swan dive while on drugs that Naomi supplied to her. When Emily caught wind, she and her perfectly asymmetrical bangs walked away from the relationship. Luckily for Naomi, she managed to offer up the apology to end all apologies, and win back her lady-love. They lived happily ever after, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Grey’s Anatomy

Guilty party: Arizona Robbins

Wife: Callie Torres

Cheated with: Dr. Lauren Boswell

Last year was a very long one of physical recovery and depression for our plucky pediatric surgeon. Arizona was in the midst of trying to create a new normal for herself when Dr. Lauren and her desire filled eyes walked into Sloan Grey Memorial. For Arizona, a mix of admiration, need, and plain old attraction drew her to a frenzied fingerbang with Dr. Lauren in the on-call room. While Arizona was apologetic and full of regret, Callie wasn’t having it. Arizona, come on. Have you seen your wife dance in her underwear? It’s a glorious thing.

 

Guilty party: Callie Torres

LadyFriend: Erica Hahn

Cheated with: Mark Sloan

It’s easy to forget that Callie Torres has not always made the best calls in relationships. When cardiac surgeon Erica Hahn came on the scene, the two hit it off like gangbusters. Eventually, their friendship turned romantic. For Erica, it was so epic, she could finally see the world in goddamn Technicolor. Callie didn’t have quite the same reaction to her budding bisexuality. She dropped trou for Mark so he could “teach her” how to, ahem, properly pleasure a woman. Erica did not quite see the dalliance as quite so clinical, and shortly thereafter, she disappeared into the parking lot, never to be heard from again. They say her sexually frustrated spirit still haunts the coffee cart to this very day.

Lip Service

Guilty party: Cat MacKenzie

Girlfriend: Sam “Hot Cop” Murray

Cheated with: Frankie Alan

First love is a bitch. No matter who or what Cat did, she could never quite get Frankie out of her head. When Sam Murray showed up, it appeared that Cat had finally moved on and let someone wonderful in. It was all for naught, though, because Frankie-the slightly less articulate Glaswegian version of Shane McCutcheon-worked her way back into Cat’s heart and pants. In a cruel twist, soon after, Cat was unceremoniously run over by a car, leaving the rest of the season mired in gloom. Sam spent the remainder of the season walking around like a zombie until Sexy Lexy managed to coax a little life into her. And by coax, I mean, have hot sex with.

Pretty Little Liars via anursingdegreeinfeelings.tumblr.com

Guilty party: Emily Fields

Girlfriend: Paige McCullers

Cheated with: Cousin Nate (Lyndon James)

Isn’t it sooooo typical? You finally get serious about a girl, and then your murdered ex-girlfriend’s “cousin” mysteriously comes to town. Fans of PLL waited all season to see Paige and Emily finally fall in love, and were horrified when Nate stepped in and put the moves on Emily. In Emily’s defense, she thought Cousin Nate was someone she could connect with, someone who loved Maya as much as she did. Nate and Emily’s kiss on the porch sent Twitter into absolute hysterics, and was witnessed by one Miss Paige McCullers. The two girls managed to salvage their relationship, but Paige’s reaction to the kiss did provide us with one of the greatest GIFs of all time. McCullers smash!

Tipping the Velvet

Guilty party: Kitty Butler

“Scene partner”: Nan Astley

Cheated with: Walter. For fuck’s sake!

Screw you Kitty Butler and the horse drawn carriage you rode in on. Sure, Kitty and Oyster girl Nan spent many a sweaty night diving for pearls, but Kitty bowed to societal pressures and shacked up with Walter. When Nan finds out, she runs away and becomes a male prostitute. I would have eaten my feelings, but to each her own. It’s only human nature after all.

 

Lost Girl

Guilty party: Bo Dennis

Girlfriend: Dr. Lauren Lewis

Cheated with: Dyyyyysssssonnnn!

OK, this show is complicated as all get out when it comes to relationships because you see, succubae don’t exactly have simple needs. They also don’t do labels. Bo and Lauren can ravish each other till the cows come home, but Bo needs more powerful chi to thrive than Lauren can provide. That throws another sausage into an already crowded jambalaya. Literally. A badly injured Bo ended up feeding on Dyson, and even though both agreed it was just for healing, still waters run deep between the two fae. Lauren felt threatened by their connection and things got pretty stressful. Add Tamsin in a bathtub, and it’s nearly too much for a human to take.

All My Children

Guilty parties: Maggie/Reese

Girlfriend/Wife: Bianca Montgomery. Binx if you’re nasty.

Cheated with: Some random/Zach Slater

Can’t Bianca catch a break?! The long-suffering daughter of Erica Kane has been notoriously unlucky in love. When best friend turned lover Maggie cheated on Bianca with some random, fans were as devastated as Binx herself. Reese eventually came into the picture, and she and Bianca got engaged. Reese, however, found herself drawn to Zack, Bianca’s brother-in-law and biological father of her youngest child. The day before her wedding to Bianca, Zack and Reese unexpectedly kiss, for a really long time. When Binx finds out after the fact, she serves Reese with annulment papers. They eventually reconciled, then broke up again. Let’s face it: Reese was no Maggie, and certainly no Marissa Chandler.

 

Venice: The Series

Guilty party: Ani

Girlfriend/Fiancé: Lara

Cheated with: Gina

Talk about your soapy triangles. Ani and Gina go together like chocolate and peanut butter, but their feeeeeeelings (or inability to express them) always get in the way of true commitment. When Lara came onto the scene, Ani thought that maybe she could finally stop the push/pull relationship with Gina. Wrong! After Lara and Ani got engaged, Ani and Gina made out on Gina’s dead brother’s bed. Sure, it may have been the grief talking, but that doesn’t explain what happened on Ani and Lara’s wedding day. It’s hard enough to know the woman you are about to marry loves someone else, but seeing them full on tongue kiss minutes before you are supposed to walk down the aisle, is beyond devastating.

Orange is the New Black

Guilty party: Piper Chapman

Boyfriend/Fiancé: Larry

Cheated with: Alex Fucking Vause

No infidelity causes quite as much conflicting emotions as the one with Piper and Alex. Larry is a decent, loving, stand up guy. The kind of guy you could take home to mom-if you took guys home to mom. Alex and Larry’s relationship seems pretty solid when she first enters Litchfield, but old and very complicated feelings arise when Piper is once again faced with the love of her life, Alex Vause. Piper’s true feelings become clear to her after spending the day in the SHU, and she falls back into Alex’s arms once again. When Larry finds out, he is heartbroken, and Piper is faced with choosing between his comfort and stability, and Alex’s passionate and adventurous spirit. Guess who she chose?

Queer as Folk

Guilty parties: Mel and Lindsey

Cheated with: Ah, who cares?

When QAF debuted, the world had never seen anything like it. Unabashed and unapologetically sexual, the show focused on the lives of a group of queer friends living in Pittsburgh. Two of those friends were lesbian couple Mel and Lindsey. Far from happy go lucky, Mel and Lindsey’s relationship was fraught with resentment and drama. Both women stepped out on each other; Mel with a woman in their circle, and Lindsey with a male artist who’s work she was showing at her gallery. They eventually reconciled, but their dysfunctional relationship served as an example for a generation of young, gay women, of what not to do in a committed relationship.

The L Word

Guilty parties: Everyone

Cheated with: Everyone

When wasn’t someone cheating on someone else in The L Word? Living, Loving, Lying, Lezzies. Ready, set, ho! First Jennie kicked it off by cheating on Tim by exploring Marina’s planet. Meanwhile, Marina was stepping out on her longtime lovah Francesca. Next door, Bette turned out to be a carpenter’s dream and cheated on Tina with Candace. Tina in turn cheated on Helena “not a dragon or a vampire” Peabody with Bette, then went to YesMansLand with Josh. Dana and Alice scissored on the living room rug, while Tonya and her parents were in Disneyland or something. After falling in love with Shane, and peeing on Jenny, Carmen emotionally cheated on Jenny, who gave her blessing to Sharmen. Max cheated on Jenny with Billie, but she was cool with it. Bette cheated on Jodi with Tina in an elevator, and Niki screwed Shane on a railing, while Jenny looked on. I’m pretty sure I missed about a hundred more, but you get the gist. Oh what a tangled web, ladies. I kind of miss you and your terrible decisions.

What television character’s infidelity upset you the most?

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