On the second episode of Last Tango in Halifax, we begin to unravel some of the layers of the onions of these ladies and blokes we met last time, and what immensely lovely onions they are! We begin right where we left off in Episode One: at that Britishly-dark coffee shop in Skipton, where lovebirds Celia and Alan have just announced to their astonished middle aged daughters that after spending one day with each other, they have decided to get married. Ain’t love grand?
Daughters Gillian and Caroline are not quite so pleased. Caroline continues her gloriously bitchy charade she began at the end of last episode, essentially saying, “Gee, that’s swell; now let’s get the hell out of here, Mum,” dragging Celia away as Celia protests, “Why hasn’t anyone congratulated us yet?” Gillian acts civil while Caroline’s around, but once the ladies leave, she similarly turns on her dad to bark, “What the hell are you playing at?”
WhatEVER, Mother.
The next day at Lesbian Hogwarts, Caroline and her seemingly ex-lady Kate share a rushed walk down the hallway, whispering tensely. Caroline needs more information about this “indiscretion” Kate had about sharing news of their relationship with another teacher; Kate concedes that she told her mate that she and Caroline kissed twice. As they finally part, Kate asks, “Are you cross?” And after an entire scene of angry clip clopping in heels and a scary angry questioning whisper face that clearly demonstrate that she is indeed cross, Caroline looks at Kate for the briefest moment to say, “No,” before turning away. This “mate” that Kate confided in soon turns up in Caroline’s office. His name is Michael, and he soon proves that he’s not very much of a mate at all. Yet this is where the bitchy Caroline of the coffee shop starts to transform in our eyes to Almighty Queen Caroline, May We Rest At Her Feet. After Michael awkwardly informs her that he’s here to talk about Kate and the things that she’s been telling him, he clearly expects a response, but is met only with this face: After her defiant silence, he continues to turn this monologue into the threat he always meant it to be, saying that if Kate continues to tell other people, who knows what could happen? Each word he utters gets more and more gross: “It could be damaging to you if any governors or parents, etc. – or one of your two boys, even, for instance, got wind of…” At this, Caroline takes off her glasses and asks what he wants from her. A promotion? A bigger budget for his projects? Without saying no, he replies, “Look, I can be discrete.” At this point, Caroline’s reached the limit of this little boy trying to manipulate her. And so she begins:Sod off, you little prick. Do you really think you can humiliate me? Go for it, genius. Spread a few rumors. It’ll say more about you than it ever will about me. This is 2012! I’m single, she’s single, we’re adults, we had a little fling. The ladies have landed! Quite a long time ago, in fact. Get over it. She spoke to you because she was upset, and this is how you respond. Bad move. And shame on you, as well. Leave the door open on your way out.BOOM. The ladies have landed! Go for it, genius! This is 2012! BOOM BOOM BOOM.
After he follows her instructions and cowers out the door, she blows the dust off her imaginary gun as she has just SMOKED that bastard. I mean, yes, it is upsetting that she’s still clearly trying to brush off whatever is happening between her and Kate. Even while we still know very little of their backstory, I flinched anyway when she said “fling,” because has there ever been a more belittling word for a relationship, however brief? I move we ban it from the English language. Flings don’t exist; relationships do. Every relationship involves feelings, and feelings are there for a reason. But regardless of what Caroline’s trying to convince herself, this speech was still pure badass. All the awards!
Moving on to more upsetting things. We learn from a discussion between Gillian and Alan that Gillian’s dead husband, who we learned last episode died in a freak accident, actually didn’t die in an accident at all – he killed himself. And Gillian’s kept it from their son for a long time in order to protect him. She’s slowly realizing that he might end up hearing it in one way or another, however, and resolves to finally tell him.
And not to detract from the seriousness of this storyline, but this conversation all takes places while Gillian is fixing their farm’s tractor, which doesn’t help to reduce my bigtime Gillian Lesbian Feelings. I like your face.
Caroline’s husband, meanwhile, is hanging out at home writing novels when the woman he left Caroline for suddenly shows up on their doorstep. I must mention a big screw-up I made in last week’s recap: Caroline and this guy aren’t actually divorced, as I stated, but simply separated. My bad! But so the reason for the separation, Judith, is suddenly hanging in Caroline’s house, and Separated Husband is doing a mediocre job of telling her to go away. When Judith asks why he’s returned to Caroline, he notedly doesn’t reply, “Because I love her,” but because he knows it’s where it’s supposed to be, or something. Judith does a better job in portraying her own sob story, that she’s middle aged without a good job and “And I’m bored. I’m bored of wondering what the point is.” This is such a relatable line that it almost makes me like her. In any case, it works on convincing Separated Husband that they should get drunk together. In Caroline’s house. Swell idea, sir! Don’t worry, though, angsty son comes home and discover them being sloppy drunks and he will is super duper pissed. Even more so than usual! Dad says, this will be a secret between us men, eh? Eh? Right, angry son? Because that’s a good move that’s totally going to work! In other news, Gillian has moved from fixing her tractor to building a stone wall with her bare hands. You know, just a normal Tuesday! As she does so, this slimy guy drives up who also appeared in the first episode, who acts like Gillian wants him bad while Gillian continually tells him to go to hell. I feel like this guy is a super creeper, and get angry at him for making remarks about how she looks bending over as she attempts to ignore his existence by continuing to stack rocks. But then again, I’m thinking the same thing about how she looks bending over, so maybe I can’t be too mad?
Alas, tractor fixing and rock wall building and all, I guess Gillian really isn’t a lesbian because she does indeed end up having sex with this greasy guy, although thankfully they don’t show any of it. And she does look herself in the mirror and call herself a twat afterwards. But you’re still a lovely twat, Gillian. We also later learn from Alan that greasy guy might already be engaged to another girl, anyway? Careful there, dear Gillian.
Alan and Celia, meanwhile, have gotten together again in Halifax to discuss their future, which they suddenly decide should include buying a hot red Lexus together. These two! We do get the sense that Alan might not be as financially ready for a new hot red Lexus as Celia is, but he appears to go along with it because life is short. They also decide to have an engagement party to help bring their two families together after Caroline and Gillian got off on the wrong foot. Gillian has moved to being happy for her dad and gives a warm congratulations to both of them, apologizing for how she acted in the coffee shop. Caroline maintains a sense of detached disbelief, saying that it’s just another one of her silly mother’s things and she’ll get over it soon. Celia finally sits down and tries to explain it to her, and when she does, we finally begin to see the softer, perhaps more vulnerable side of Caroline, and it is such a lovely sight to see. She asks why Celia’s rushing into this.
Celia: “I’ve been in love with him 60 years. That’s not rushing.” Caroline: “He was 16 last time you saw him. People alter!” Celia: “I’m not daft. It’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. I know him better than I know myself. Can you understand that?” Caroline: “Sort of. Almost. That’s very…” Celia: “What?” Caroline: “Touching. Articulate.”It’s in that “sort of,” that “almost,” that we know that that feeling that Celia holds now is not one that Caroline holds for her husband, but one that maybe she’s seen a glimpse of with someone else, something that deep down she longs for, as we all do, no matter how much we steel ourselves into believing we don’t. It is articulate, and it is touching, and in that moment Caroline finally starts to not just believe her mother, but perhaps be inspired by her. Celia says she believes she would have always created Caroline no matter what, but she imagines what would have happened if she’d always been with Alan. How happy life could have been. You can have that happiness too, Caroline. Before the big engagement party, Caroline and her husband have a somewhat upsetting conversation wherein Caroline agrees he can start sleeping in their room again. Siiigh. She also says that she’s done something stupid, which for a hot minute we all believe is going to be Kate and I don’t want it to be Kate! But thankfully, it’s just how she treated Gillian at the coffee shop. She explains how she acted, and her husband laughs, saying that’s what she loves about her. She’s “snotty and arrogant and glorious.” And while I’m more than ready for this husband to get the permanent boot, his words here are accurate.
At the party, things start out dandy. Caroline gives Gillian flowers and apologizes about their first meeting. Everyone introduces themselves; they share some bubbly; Alan gets up to give a little speech. This is where everything starts to go a little off-kilter. Let’s make a list:
1) Alan’s speech is meant to be sweet, but it also includes the fact that Gillian’s mother was the very one who inadvertently or not caused Alan and Celia’s missed connection so many years ago, a part of the story which makes Gillian feel pretty weird; 2) The car dealer drives up in the hot red Lexus, which the boys are all very excited about but which Gillian and Caroline are both very much not; 3) The police show up to arrest Gillian’s son, who has apparently beat someone up in a bit of just-found-out-my-father-killed-himself processing; 4) Caroline’s Angry Son lets it out of the bag that her husband let Judith get drunk in their house.
Ta da! You what?
Everyone gets into their various vehicles to drive off to the police station or home or somewhere that isn’t there, and the episode finishes with Celia giving Caroline’s husband a beautiful slap in the face. He’s left standing alone, next to a few clucking chickens at Gillian’s farm in the middle of nowhere. Guess he WON’T be moving back into Caroline’s bedroom tonight! Applause! Womp womp.
As one final note for this episode, I must say I am becoming increasingly smitten with the occasional wonderful panorama shots of the landscapes on this show, and I’ll have to end my recaps from now on with a few of my favorites, because pretty!
What were your favorite moments from this episode?
