In less exciting news after this, Alan’s bumbling friends take him and Celia &mdash’ and Paul, who’s like a sick puppy no one wants but who you can’t leave behind to die — to a pub and his friends give him a hard time about which one’s going to be his best man; they test drive an old Land Rover for Gillian — the Lesbianmobile will be reincarnated! — and Gillian buys Celia some underwear.
And then Caroline shows up at Kate’s house! She doesn’t duck out! This is happening!
Caroline’s cell phone ringing interrupts them; it’s Gillian, wondering what size knickers her mom wears. (She’s been staying at Gillian’s, and has run out.) When Kate hears this, she takes a moment to process, and then collapses into giggles, and then Caroline collapses into giggles, and it is not often that Caroline collapses into giggles! Everything right now is delightful!
Meanwhile, in the absolute opposite of giggles, Alan has sat Celia down to tell her some Serious News. He wants to be completely truthful with her before their marriage, and part of that complete truth is talking a bit more about Gillian’s husband’s grisly suicide, because who doesn’t want to talk more about Gillian’s husband’s grisly suicide. Just kidding, no one does, but the story continues to unfold: it was indeed a suicide, and a barbaric one at that, apparently involving smashing his head with some type of farm equipment, but the part that’s new is that when Gillian found him, he wasn’t dead yet. Still conscious, in fact. And she stood and watched him die. Which, technically, could count as manslaughter. Accordingly, Alan has always kept this tiny detail secret, then and all these years, to protect her. And in that way, they’re both on the wrong side of the law.
Celia says that she doesn’t judge him, or Gillian, and then she rightly comments that they should move on because they need to make sure they spend enough time laughing, the two of them. So after this cheery conversation, they dance. Gillian turns up at this point and spies on them, and can’t control her laughter.