“Las Aparicio” recap: Episodes 67-69


Over at Casa Aparicio, Rafaela and Aurelia are alone at the breakfast table. None of the Aparicio women have shown up to breakfast. Aurelia suspects this means it’s the calm before the storm. Rafaela says that her girls have been very mysterious lately.


Just then, Julia storms in.

Julia: Are you talking about me or what? Surely, you are. Well, you’re forbidden from asking me anything about Mariana or Armando. I’m leaving and you can’t ask me where.

And Julia storms out.


Before they can say anything, Mercedes storms in.

Mercedes: Good morning, good morning. No! Don’t say anything. Yes, I spent the night with Claudio last night and it was incredible. It was delicious. I don’t want you to make fun or even comment on it, please. I’ll see you later. Bye.

And Mercedes storms out.


And then Ileana storms in.

Ileana: I suppose you already know I’m not a virgin anymore. I don’t want any comments, please. And no parties, either. Bye.

And Ileana storms out.


Aurelia: What a comprehensive news bulletin. And we didn’t even have to ask.

But back to Julia. She’s at the gym. Specifically, she’s in the pool daydreaming about Armando and Mariana.


That evening, the Little Trio That Could meet up in Armando’s apartment.


Mariana and Armando want to go get some alcohol to make the awkwardness of this whole thing more bearable but Julia wants to be sober when she talks to them. She tells them that she’s reached the conclusion that she’s being selfish.


Julia knows that nothing happened between them because she knows them well enough to know that that would be impossible. She also knows that they’re never going to accept the offer she made them and she thinks the best thing to do, for all of them, is to not be with either one.


This is Chapter 45 in The Julia Aparicio Guide To Getting Everything You Want (Even When You Don’t Really Deserve It). The tips in this chapter are threefold: Use reverse psychology, sprinkle in some tears, and (most importantly) wear a red bow on your head.

After that whole speech, everyone’s very depressed. Mariana says nothing, but she looks like all her thoughts have the #sufrocomoyosola hashtag. Armando tells Julia that he’ll always be there for her.


And then it’s time for Julia to excuse herself. She needs to let the magical red bow of doom do its job.

It doesn’t take long for its evil powers to kick in.

Mariana: Julia, you’re saying that you love us enough to let us go, no? The thing is … I love you too much.


She asks Armando if he’d be willing to go along with the threesome idea. He says yes.

Mariana: We’ll try it.


The Red Bow of Doom: Muahahahahaaaaaaaa!

And so it starts. Who’s buying the first round?

Ingrid Díaz is the author of Alix & Valerie, a
professional blogger and non-recovering coffee addict. In her college
days, she was a purple-haired LGBT rights activist. These days, she
aims to change the world one lesbian love story at a time. You can read
some of her work at www.midnightisland.com.


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