Meanwhile, Gaby and Mariana talk about coming out and how Gaby knows she can’t tell her father because he’s going to take it terribly and that it’s beyond her control. Then she asks Mariana how she came out and Mariana goes on to tell her coming out story.
Mariana: It was a long time ago, honestly. But on that day I finally had the certainty of knowing who I was and I looked in the mirror … I must’ve been like thirteen or fourteen…? It’s weird I don’t remember my age but I remember the precise moment. I looked in the mirror and I said, “You’re gay.” I took advantage one day that my mom was in her garden watering the plants. She’d always go alone. And … well, I had the whole monologue planned and I was ready to tell her everything I wanted to tell her, but when I looked into her eyes the only thing that came out was, “Mom, I’m gay.”
Gaby: How did she react?
Mariana: Well, I think her maternal instinct came out because she hugged me and told me everything would be okay. The problem was really when she told my stepfather.
Gaby: He wasn’t as understanding?
Mariana: No. Not really. One day I came home from school and the two of them were sitting down and Frank, the conservative American, told me, “In this house we live by my rules and if you want to keep living here you have to stop being gay.”
Gaby: Stop being gay. Like that’s possible.
Mariana: That day I lost my mom.
Gaby: Because of that jerk?
Mariana: No, because of her. Because she wanted things to be all good with her husband … so, she abandoned her daughter, no?
Gaby: And your biological father? How do you think he’d react?
Mariana: That’s the least of my concerns. That guy doesn’t exist to me. All I know is he left to go to some malaria convention in South America and I’m sure he’s still there … with some female doctor.
Smells like foreshadowing… or maybe garlic. I think one of my neighbors is cooking something. Or repelling vampires. One of the two.
But back to the Super Lesbians. Alma and Julia wander around trying to grope each other publicly while trying to remember that they’re half-sisters. They decide to venture into the dark, lonely areas, away from the crowds, where surely the hooded baddies await. And, sure enough, there they are!
But not for long, because as soon as Rodo makes a move on Julia, Alma shouts, “POLICE!” And the Mexican police officers, who are everywhere you want them to be when you want them to be there, hop out of the bushes and apprehend the baddies. And the kingdom was free of homophobia forever. The end.
But the fairytale continues in episode 40, where we pick up at the police station. Rodo and his Band of Merry Men have been arrested and are going away for a very, very long time because there is nothing and no one Mercedes can’t put away forever. For serious.
Afterwards, Mariana goes with Gaby to her apartment and is all happy and bouncy and celebratory about having justice on her side. And she goes to kiss Gaby but Gaby’s like, “Whoaaaa, there. Not so fast. I’m still a closet case, remember?” And Mariana’s like, “I just wanted to kiss you.” And Gaby’s like, “MY FATHER IS HOME.” And Mariana’s like, “Whatever.” And then Gaby’s dad comes out of wherever he was and Gaby adopts her I Am Straight voice to welcome her father and Mariana’s like, “I’m out. In more ways than one. Peace.” And leaves.
Over at Casa Aparicio, Julia is looking in the mirror and wondering, “Who are you, Julia?” Because she’s not wearing the Glasses of Undeniable Gayness anymore so we’re back to being confused. She decides this is a good time to call Armando.
Spain has turned Armando into a lovesick poet and while Julia’s all, “Uh… hi … uhh…” Armando’s all, “Your voice… your eyes … your lips … I miss you so much.” And Julia’s like, “Uh uh uh… let’s talk about the time and the weather.” And Armando’s like, “I want you to know that they have me training all the time so I haven’t been partying or sleeping around … too much … and I’m trying to behave … so I’ve only slept with four or five women today. And all for you, my love, because I love you and miss you so much.” Julia’s like, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought you were having a great time.” But no, it’s very rough over there for Armando. So rough. He asks about Mariana and she evades the question and then tries to get off the phone by telling him a half-hearted goodbye and he’s all, “I think of you all the time … when I score … all my goals are for you, Julia. I love you.” And so she’s like, “Yeah … metooIhavetogonowbye.”
Rafaela appears just then to share her wisdom.
Julia: I’m so screwed. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Rafaela: No, no, don’t say that. Listen to what you feel. Listen to yourself. And dare yourself. That way you won’t betray Armando or Mariana or yourself.
And by that she means, “Come out of the closet already, for the love of God.”